False Alarm

“You bought ya bank card?” Cam asked suddenly checking his pockets.

“Noooo” I sung slowly, “You specifically told me not to!”

“And you listened? Since when do you listen?” Cam looked puzzled.

I sat there and looked at him and suddenly I realized why he was panicking.

“Jace, I left my wallet in my other pants, we gonna have to dip out on the bill, unless you want to take a cab to the hotel and grab my wallet right quick!” he exclaimed. We had thought it would be cute to walk the strip to Hooters and it was. But he was really talking crazy.

I was almost 30 years old I was NOT walking out on a bill, he had lost his mind. Of course, I had my bank card because Cam was full of crap as usual and I knew better. He kept on telling me escape routes and I half listened. He told me he was going to the bathroom and I should make my escape while he was gone. I could not believe this dude. Once he left I asked the actress for the bill and hurried to pay it before Cam returned. I was going to see if he would really walk out that restaurant without paying. So I never let on that I did in fact have my bank card on me.

Cam returned and looked at me crazy “Why you didn’t leave, I was going to slip out the side door?”

I was over it honestly, over it and him, then he started laughing.

“Let me quit playing with you, let me pay this bill so we can get outta here” he continued laughing.

“Wait….. you had it the whole time? I just paid the bill Cam, you are an effing jerk!” I fussed. I showed him the receipts and kept on with my rant.

“You really think I would do that? Damn, I must have really fucked up with you huh?” he pulled out cash and reimbursed the tip and me for the money I paid. I was glad he did but still mad he had played that dumb little joke.

We left and headed to the mall and did some light shopping, and I mean light. He bought me three shirts that I definitely did not need but he was badgering me to get something so I grabbed those. We got back to the room and had some more sex sessions before passing out. Sex is mental. It has to be because each time with Cam was good and he had the nerve to comment and say “You know Jace, when we good we are GOOD, but when we bad it’s awful. I can have you and keep you happy, I just can’t go broke, because once I go broke you go slam off!”

I thought about it and he was right. But, sheesh he made it seem like I was a gold digger. I know he didn’t think that but it came off that way and I wasn’t. It’s just that I know I bring a lot to the table. I’m established, well somewhat, but I can stand on my own two feet so I require someone that can do the same. I’m not going to struggle with you when I wouldn’t be struggling on my own. I can do badly by myself, I don’t need help. In addition, that was my issue with Cam he would hinder me more than help me and I couldn’t have that. Now I can’t say if he gets his ish together I could totally still turn my back on what we had, but I’m not considering that either. A few good days together are common for us. We always get along for a while, and then he will be right back to his same old BS, so thanks for the fun Cam and have a safe trip home!

Jake, Jake, Jake (the bag buyer). He texted me at 1:52 in the a.m. when I was staying the night with Cam saying, “I miss you”.

What could he possibly miss? We NEVER hang out. He proceeds with the following text:

Jake: I really like you, you’re special

Me: How you know?

Jake: I think about you all the time wondering what you are doing and you are attractive to me, and you have a nice booty

Me: Funny

Jake: I haven’t heard from you, am I still on your annoying list?

Me: I’ve been on the go I’m still tired from my vacay

Jake: Oh ok hopefully I can get a kiss from you when I give you your new bag I bought right?

Me: I’m not a kisser, I kiss my baby with these lips

WTF!? I’m not kissing you for a purse. Guys have bought me bags that cost $2300, if you think those little $150-$200 Michael Kors bags are going to make me hop on it and do a full split you have another thing coming! Ok, I know what some of you are thinking, I started it when I took the first one, then the second, and you are correct. I’m not debating that. I did, but they were so cute. However, not THAT cute. Jake is irking me. He went on to tell me he was looking at houses for when he scores this new job, then he says, “Maybe I’ll take you with me”. I don’t curse but I wanted to say “Like hell you will!”. I just don’t get this guy. He asked me to how I felt about him and I reiterated that my divorce signature was probably still wet and I only wanted to be friends, you would think he would be turned off. His response: Well I’m still going to treat you like a queen, just because. I’m going to wear you down.

What have I gotten myself into?