Todd & Company

I think we all know I’m very naïve when it comes to guys. On that note, I have been holding out. But I have a good reason, there really wasn’t anything to write about, but now I think I should mention him…… or them.

Let’s take it back to the 1990’s. I’m in 8^th grade and there’s this boy. I’m super skinny and awkward, but cute and super shy when it comes to guys. The guy is Todd and he’s one of the “bad” boys. He runs with a rough crowd and they are unruly. Me and Todd began to talk on the phone and by the time I’m in high school he’s my “boyfriend”. I didn’t know a darn thing about a boyfriend, but I knew I loved Todd and we told each other so every night, and even played the “No you hang up….. no you hang up…. okay hang up on 3” game. How adorable -_-

Meanwhile Kendall was super UN-shy. She was running wild sleeping with boys and being fast in high school. I was the lucky duckling that had to accompany her to these outings. I had total freedom. I could do whatever I please as long as my mom knew where I was and whom I was with.

She had no reason not to trust me, I was scary as crap. Kendall,on the other hand, household was strict as crap, so she unfortunately rebelled. I was her alibi, and I never minded because her stories were like a gut pulling steamy novel for my young 14 year old ears. Tish was the same way but that’s for another time.

Anywho, Todd and Kendall were neighbors so we saw each other all the time. There was a carnival coming to town and Kendall’s latest boy toy wanted us all to go. So we met at his house and his Dad took him, me, Kendall, Todd, and probably some others I can’t remember down to the carnival. He came back and got us and let us out a block away from Kendall and Todd’s house. It began to rain and Todd pulled me into a covered bushy area. He grabbed me around my waist and I immediately got scared and looked around for Kendall but she was nowhere in sight. He turned my head towards his and before I could react, he stuck his tongue in my mouth. I had never kissed a guy before an I was clueless. However, Todd kept at it until I got the groove of it all. I decided I liked it and got really into it. Then I stopped abruptly. I didn’t want to get pregnant or anything! Yes, I was that gullible at 14 that I thought kissing could make babies. SMH, poor Jaycee.

Todd took my hand and we walked towards their houses.

Todd wanted to kiss all the time after that and so did I. He wanted to meet at my locker and all of the fast stuff I saw Kendall doing an at first I wanted no parts, but I eventually gave in the summer of our freshman year going into our sophomore year when I turned 15.

Kendall had the bright idea that we should be Junior Varsity football managers for our high school. She saw an opportunity to meet some top quality boys and be one of the only girls around. I saw this as an opportunity to be picked on and uncomfortable. Nevertheless, as usual I went along with my cousin’s plan. So all summer we were on the field passing out water bottles and towels, well Kendall was. I spent most of my time driving the golf cart knocking crap over. I did not care about those darn boys. I was in love.

One summer day during lunch Kendall decided we were going to one of the boys house, Todd hung out there and they both talked me into it. As usual Kendall got ghost as soon as we got to the house, I hated when she did that. Todd was there though at least and I trusted him as he led me upstairs to a bedroom. Reality kicked in, we were teens in a house alone, ish was about to go down. I loved Todd though and kept telling myself that.

“You ready for this” he asked me.

I don’t know if I answered or not I was so freaking nervous. What I do know is my pants and panties were off, and Todd was between my tiny legs pushing his way in. No condom, no nothing, I was so dumb back then.

God was watching me or his angels because no matter what Todd did my little virgin vagina wouldn’t let him enter me. Before long Kendall banged on the door and said we had to leave. Todd accepted defeat, we left after that, and boy was I relieved! I don’t remember too clearly how me and Todd fell off, but I had other high school boyfriends after that.

Back to 2014. Todd is back! Technically, he never left; we kept in contact sort of throughout the years. He started having kids wayyyyyyyy before me and I think he’s on kid #5! He always checked in every blue mood and very randomly. Then when I first moved back home I was at my friend Raven’s house (she’s the one who I think is getting played by her boyfriend, and is a new mom). Apparently him and Raven were “dating” and “effing”. I wondered if she knew about our puppy love romance from the 90’s? So, I casually bought it up one day. Me and Raven hadn’t been friends back then an I didn’t want Todd, I was married, so it was no big deal really.

Raven was doing bad this year and Todd was really helping her out. He had matured and had his own place and a good job (he needed it with five kids). So he had been spoiling Raven all summer in exchange for her cooch, my rationality.

They fell off and she was evicted and eventually got with her now kid’s father. I’m off topic. Todd hit me on Facebook a few weeks ago and asked was I still married. I told him a simple no and we went back and forth for a while. He kept asking for my number and I kept saying why?

“I don’t want nothing from you girl, dang you act like we weren’t friends, I haven’t hit you cause I was respecting your marriage” he fussed.

Only reason I was skeptical is that one of his friends had also been Facebooking me. It felt like a set up. His friend had requested me on Instagram and FB some months ago and always “liked” my posts. But, I didn’t know him from Adam. So now, here Todd goes out the blue. This couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Give him the number girl Todd is harmless!” my bff had said and eventually I did. He’s been hitting me up ever since but he was always regular, nothing was out the way. One Saturday night, on my way home from Ladies Night with the girls, I went to see him and we sat outside talking for a few hours. At 3a.m, we called it quits. But, it was good catching up and like she had said he was harmless and extremely funny.

His friend was still around too. We never exchanged numbers, just FB messaged on the regular to kill time, on my end anyway.

Too sum this up I did tell Todd about his friend hitting me up but he brushed it off like “Why you telling me?” Therefore, I brushed it off as well. The other night we were texting about him wanting a home cooked meal and it went something like this:

Todd: Someone got you pregnant, and you can’t cook!?

Me: lol yup, I can do basics I just can’t throw down.

Todd: Are you explaining your sex game?

Me: Why are you such a effin hater lol stop throwing shots I’m not into playing catch

Todd: Shade

Me: If your sex game was up to par maybe you would have had home cooked meals by now, I’m just saying. From what I remember you had……………. Issues lmbooooo

Todd: It wouldn’t fit, don’t do that, I was trying to run up in you like a crash dummy
Me: Someone else’s eventually fit so it was definitely your issues

Todd; I was young I ain’t know about lube and all that, is it still tight or nah?

Me: You ain’t gotta explain it to me, Wasn’t meant to happen, I would’ve regretted it, you turned into a rude tail lol

Todd: Maybe I wouldn’t have………

Me: Like you said, you were young

Todd: I’m a grown rude ass lovable nigga…………… let me love you

Me: You just made me spit my water out from laughing, quit your shenanigans please

Todd: Guess you ain’t feeling the kid

Todd plays too much and I told him so, but for some reason I don’t think he was playing! Maybe it was the text that came next……………….

Guess whose bizzack!

Guys I’m back!................ Kinda J

Talk about scary! I was in the hospital for about 4 days, they had me scared straight but 1 practitioner and 3 Doctors later and Tadaaaaa I am free as a bird! Funny thing is they STILL do not know what the heck happened. So, the whole time I was in the hospital I was hooked up to an IV with what my Doctor said “the strongest antibiotic there is.” I did not give a darn as long as it would help. They were threatening surgery if not and it was Baby Boys Birthday weekend so that was not going to happen.

So for four days I laid there with something the size of a golf ball between my legs that they referred to as a cyst/abscess.

“This isn’t a boil right?” I asked. I hated those things. I had one once on my butt a few years ago and it was awful. I had to get it lanced and this was feeling all too familiar.

The nurse practitioner laughed “Oh no, you wish this was just a boil, this is serious, almost dangerous!”

What the eff is “this” and how do you know when you can’t even figure out what caused it? Their original theory was Nair, that got canceled out when the other Doctors looked.

“Rough sex recently?” one asked casually. I had to laugh until I realized he was serious.

“Ummmm no” I stammered. Rounds of sex maybe, but definitely not rough.

“What about an exercising accident of some sort” he looked at me.

“What’s exercise?” I laughed trying to make a joke, which obviously he did not find funny.

He left after asking me some more questions that did not apply to anything I did. This happened a few times and each time they left puzzled. By Friday, I put my foot down, gently of course.

“I want to go home! The pain is gone and the swelling…… well its still big but its helping. Can’t we do a pill form of antibiotics or something?” I whined.

A new Doctor checked me out and still looked skeptical “I really don’t want to, but I guess we could try it but you are going to have to come back in next week, and if we’ve still got that swelling it’s on to the surgery!”

I agreed with whatever she said and got wheeled out.

On to the best 2^nd Birthday party EVER!

It was awesome, it was a carnival and I had bounce houses galore, baby ones, water ones, slides, just fun! We had cotton candy, candy apples, popcorn, water ices, hot dogs, chips, goldfish, and an insanely smart backdrop idea that we took pictures in front of. (Brilliant and Dani’s purchase) The clown came and did face painting and balloon sculpting too. Dani, Wendy, and Kendall were the bomb.com. Best god mommies ever. Even if I was still in the hospital, they had vowed to pull it off and it was so nice. Everyone was saying, “You should totally party plan”…………………. NOT! Baby Boy is not getting another party until age 5!

Cam did not show, but his other son did with his mother. She looked uncomfortable and her boyfriend/husband was with her. Kendall said she looked preggo, I was so busy I missed that. She’s the reason Cam is unemployed. Well I cannot blame her but she definitely doesn‘t let him see him and still went for child support, which ended with his jail stint, and consequently the loss of his gig. She’s a big reason too why I don’t want him. They are accumulating debt and I want no parts. Cam is so irresponsible, I told him years ago to just chalk it up, meet with her, and come to a solution. He put it off and now she is a robot to that boyfriend of hers. He is obsessed with running the situation and telling her what to do and what not to do about it and now it is just a mess! I’ll pass on that!

Anyhow it was a success. Yesterday I took him to this water park and that kid is not scared of water. He had a ball and for that I’m grateful it was truly a great weekend.

Tish also had a birthday weekend. Needless to say I didn’t attend any of her events. With the hospital discharge and the birthday there simply not enough time. If she can’t understand that then tough luck, but she’s been throwing me mad shade, I’ll see how this plays out.

I have so much more to share, but it’s my first day back at work so I have to play catch up!

Surgery Update

Would you believe im STILL in the hospital???!!!!

Well I went for my appt and was scared straight. Dante had bought me breakfast and meds but this was Dante we are talking about. Did I really want to put my health in his hands?

I get to my doctors office and she bought in another doctor who immediately said no they couldnt drain my "thing". She said they were admitting me into the hospital and Id be here a while and here I am.

Ill write more in detail when I break out just wanted to let you guys know where I was. Prayers up!!!!

Surgery Bound 😢😷😭

Ish has gotten real. So remember last Friday when I went to meet my cousin at the beach? Well before I headed over I looked at myself and realized I seriously needed to shave. I never shave though I always use Nair. Thankfully Ive never burnt my freaking skin off because I come dangerously close to my sensitive parts. Anyeho, I did a rush job and it turned out great..... or so I thought.

Over the weekend I started to feel a pain between my legs on one side. First I thought it may be a boil coming. I use to get those heavy and they are zero fun. I swear they hurt worst than labor...... I even had to get one lanced and drained. Which is when they cut it open and squeeze the puss out and its GROSS. So that night I scrubbed my skin ferociously hoping it wouldnt show.

By Sunday it was so much worst. I was at Kendalls new place decorating ( im talented with interior design) and the pain got so bad I had to make myself take a nap. I slept the day awat and thank God for an awesome cousin. She totally took care of Baby Boy for me that dat.

By Monday the entire side of my right labia was swollen. Im talking golf ball size. And the left side was normal so imagine how crazy that looks. I was at work doing the pregnant waddle and taking 5 minutes to sit down it was awful. I got home and went straight to bed and my friends showed up later with food and some crap called "Boil Ease" that she swore would do the trick. Maybe it wouldve..... if it was a boil. My mom gave me a Vicodin and that at least got me thru the night.

This morning I wake up and my brother took Baby Boy to daycare for me. So I soaked in a hot bath, which was only temporary relief. By noon I was begging my OB-GYN to see me asap and they did. I prayed and prayed it wasnt a boil and it wasnt! She said it wasnt a cyst either it was a "Vulva infection".

"Heck did I get that from?" I asked puzzled.

She immediately got irritated "Its from you people insisting on shaving, waxing, and that damn Nair!"

I couldnt stabd this hoe. She was the same one that had told me I was having an etopic pregnancy 3 years ago and acted like we were discussing the weather. She was so darn rude.

"Sooooo Im not suppose to shave, just stay hairy and unruly? Got it....I didnt know that, calm down" I looked at her like she had lost it.

"No our bodies arent meant to have all of that done. What you can do is clip your hair, but never do that other crap or you could end up like this" she glanced at my golf ball.

Wench! She proceeded to tell me it needed to be cut open to release the bacteria. Eff no! This was just like the boil procedure. I asked could I just have a antibiotic and pain medicineinstead.

"Sure, but we still need to drain it or its goin to spread into a pelvic infection and that requires hospitilization" she smiled.

Heck was so funny? I really despised her. I decided to still not do it todat but Im scheduled for the "surgery" in the morning. And they wont put me to sleep so Im scared straight. The first thing that popped in my mind was Dante. He's still been harassing me still bit I knew he got high so he would know SOMETHING I could take that would lessen the pain tomorrow.

He was so hype I called and asked why I hadnt called him to drive me to the doctor. I brushed that off and got to the point of my call.

"What can I take so I wont feel it?" I hesitantly asked.

Without missing a beat he answered "A percocet.... that will have you out of it for sure".

My interest was peaked, I needed that percocet if it was going to lessen the pain.

"I got you, Ill get you some to take dont worry, Ill bring you some dinner too, and take you in the morning, I just want to help Jaycee" he said.

I had stopped listening after the first sentence. I was just happy I had the chance to lessen the pain. But here I am now feeling like a feign waiting for a hit. I was such a hypocrite I had just chastised him for getting hogh and now I was asking him to get me high. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Thats what I get for judging.

I feel like this is punishment for fornicating. With Marc and Cam. And for playing with Jakes feelings. But that wont be a issue.... Im never shaving again, therefore I probably wont have sex again. Because who wants wolf pussy?

Disclaimer: There are prob plenty of grammer and other errors. Im on my phone and honestly Im in too much pain to care about commas, periods, and all their cousins. Hopefully you understand.

Im going to try to do warm compresses to get it to bust by the morning, any other suggestions?

Friday Worked Out!

Last night ended up being fun. I was supposed to leave and go straight to the beach from work but I went home to shower first. Dante managed to finagle his way and stop by claiming, “I just wanted to see you that’s all” it’s a shame he’s a potential bum because he’s really cute. He puts me in the mind of Rev Run’s son “Diggy”. Adorable little thing right?

I headed to the beach and was immediately hit with bumper-to-bumper traffic. I cranked up Chris Brown’s “These Hoes Aint Loyal” (cause they aren’t) and danced my way through the trip. I hit the strip an immediately got excited as I saw all the crowds of people moseying up and down the strip. People were laughing and smiling and it was contagious. I found my cousins hotel and she met me outside.

We did one of those loud “OMGGGGGG IM SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE” screams, and hugged and laughed and went inside so she could freshen up. She had Angry Orchard beers and I happily grabbed one during my wait. We did swing thru the Meet-N-Greet for the family reunion before hightailing it out of there. We walked the strip until we fell upon a live band and DJ. Apparently, they were military and had their own little set up. They were playing the “Wobble” and me and my cousin jumped right in, they carried that into the “Cha-cha Slide” and the “Cupid Shuffle”. I loved line dances. What I loved even more was seeing people with no rhythm do them. Pure comedy.

We sauntered off the beach and I got a pepperoni pizza slice, while we decided which bar we were going to hop into. Being lazy, we decided on one right across the street. It was Ladies night so it was free. A group of white kids danced up next to us and one of the guys were really cool. He started to introduce himself and entertained us for a while.

“Hey this is going to sound crazy but can you do me a favor?” he asked my cousin.

We had all been chatting for a while and our last discussion was of his friend throwing up all over another female friend toes. She was pissed. It was three siblings (boy and 2 girls), one of the girls boyfriends, another female, and then our male we had taken too. The barfer (yuck yuck yuck) was 22 and it was his 1^st time going out. Poor thing.

“What’s the favor?” my cousin asked.

“If Teach Me How To Dougie comes on…… can you actually teach me how to Dougie?” he asked seriously “People always think it’s a joke but I really want to learn.

We all busted out laughing but agreed to teach him if it did. My cousin had been throwing drinks down and I had opted not to drink since I had work the next day. We realized the crowd looked extremely young, and as soon as one of our new friends told us she was only 19, we booked it to somewhere that was at least 21 and up!

The second place was one we had visited when we came out for my birthday and it started slow before we started having a good time. There was one person who danced really well and took a liking to my cousin. No one ever cared about her ring……. which is probably why she always cheated, she didn’t either! SMH

His friend with him was more on the quiet side and after chatting I found out, he was a rapper. At first, I laughed it off; who wasn’t a rapper these days let them tell it? Then he showed me his Instagram page and some other things and turns out he was an up and coming rapper. We followed each other on Instagram and he sent me his latest song to check out, and I admit it was good. I was hype because when he finally made it big time I would be able to brag about him “commenting on my Instagram pics” lol. It is really the little things with me, but that was pretty cool!

The night ended after we danced it away. I looked super cute in a one-piece pantsuit or romper floral print from H&M, my MK black sandals, and a printed Marc Jacobs bag. That romper worked wonders on my petite frame, I wish I had gotten more now that I think back on it, shucks! I had my braids half up and half down with the front going to the side. I got comments all night, and after my Debbie Downer day I totally could have used them.

I decided to drive back home that night which was 30-45 minutes versus having to get up super early and I didn’t get in the bed until almost 3a.m. Needless to say my eyes were literally burning when my alarm sounded off at 6:30 this morning. I did make it in for overtime though and while I was here Baby Boy has made it back home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are totally about to rock out the rest of this weekend and do whatever he wants!

Have a great weekend everyone and be blessed!

P.S. I got a number too J No need for details until it turns out to even be worth this mention J

Debbie Downer Day :(

I’m racking my brain trying to finalize things for Baby Boys 2^nd Birthday party. The two weeks he spent with my mom out of town were supposed to be to get ish done, and I got ish done, but not that. I got partying done, extra work hours done, eating out every day done, catching up with old friends done, everything done BUT that.

Sue me! I needed the break, and while it has felt AWESOME to have my pre-mommy days back, I would not trade parenthood for the world. He brings me so much joy and fulfillment and I can’t wait to squeeze him tomorrow when they touch down. He’s the only positive thing I have in my life at the moment.

My cousin is in town, the one from up North that cheats on her husband. She is about 30 minutes away in the tourist part of our area at the beach strip. For some reason I thought it was smart to tell her I would come hang out, and I regret it so much. Now I have to rush over there after work in rush hour, walk up and down a freaking strip I don’t care about, and then go to a bar, and be up by 6 a.m. to make it in to work by 7 a.m. on a Saturday. Good thinking Jaycee. I love my cousin but I so wanted to go home and go to bed after work. Honestly though even if I didn’t go visit her at the hotel and stay I probably still wouldn’t go home. Such is life.

On a professional note, I am starting to be discouraged on the work promotions. I should have NEVER transferred back home. Everyone at my old job is moving up at a rapid speed and they all came in way after me. Meanwhile, I’m stuck at this tiny office, that hardly ever has any promotions to offer and when it does they are shelled out to seniority it seems. I was effing dumb to take a pay cut to come here. They didn’t have my position so I accepted another one, and now I’m the only one with a degree doing what I do. At first, I felt honored, now I feel dumb. Sure I make more but what the eff did that matter when I was doing a job that apparently didn’t require a degree just hella experience? Genius Jaycee, you are just genius.

Anyhow 2 out of 4 of the promotions I have applied for have already been given to others. I have 2 left I’m waiting to hear on. I really don’t want to settle, but I have to make a move soon. I only planned to move back home for 6 months. I am coming up on month 5 in August. So by September/October if nothing bites I’m honestly thinking of:

1. Accepting defeat, move into my own place here again, and just be miserable 40 hours a week.
2. Take Cam up on his offer to try down South out. I can transfer to another city, it would be the same job of course, but more room for growth because he’s near a major city unlike me here, and I would hopefully have his help with our son there.

I don’t want to do either I want to get one of these promotions and chuck the deuces to my friends and family here and promise to visit every weekend, knowing I won’t. I’m so annoyed by this guys.

It wouldn’t sting so bad if I even had an inkling of someone that could hold my interest without pissing me off but no luck in that department either. Dante’s relentless behind just won’t give up, so I finally told him what a turn off he had been last time I saw him.

 He had the nerve to get super serious and hit me with the “I’m sorry of you feel like I disrespected you, that won’t ever happen again, and I’d like to make it up to you”. Shoot! Wasn’t expecting that. He even offered to pay for something at Baby Boy’s party. That definitely was not happening, too soon Dante, too soon. I still wasn’t considering him though, don’t worry. His ish is too shaky and I’m done taking risk. I HAVE managed to shake Jake *does a little dance*. I feel awful of course, but the problem was only escalating and I was leading him on by accepting the gifts. I guess the right thing to do would be to give them back right? Nah. Can’t do it.

Kendall got promoted. Dante tried to invite himself out with us and pay for everything. I’m happy for her and we went out to celebrate over dinner last night with our male bff. I was hating a little I’ll admit,  but I love my cousin so imp still super proud. I just hope I’m next in line for a celebration!

I don’t think I have a single interesting thing going on, everyone is boring to me or a nuisance. I hate being a Debbie Downer, especially right before the weekend but sheesh. I’m just not happy with myself at this point in my life.

 I know I’m blessed and things could be way worst, but they could also be way better!

When will things look up?

I want everyone to close his or her eyes and thank whomever it is you pray to just for allowing you to see another day. This week has already been fatal.

I’m on my way to work one day and I see one of those trucks that carries the cars. I guess they take them to the dealerships or wherever, who knows. However, I know it has crossed everyone’s mind “What if one of those cars fall off?” WELL IT DID! This happened to me while I was on a freaking bridge. I was blocked in between the truck and the side of the bridge and one of those suckers fly off heading straight towards me. In reality I had three seconds, if that, to act. In my world, everything possible flashed through my mind, including losing my life. If you ask me how that car missed me, I could not tell you. It had to be God and his angels, because it zoomed over me and I was left perfectly find. My brain and nerves were off the hook of course, but I’m here and sharing my story, so thank you Lord!

Too bad nothing else going on ends with a perfect ending in my life. You all should be glad to know I learned my lesson with Jake, I won’t agitate anyone with HOW I learned it but I did. Okay, it’s a blog I have to share I guess. He came over to my house to bring a “Don’t annoy me gift” his words, not mines. I had previously called him annoying, his remedy to this was to buy a gift to un-annoy me. -_- Joke was on me, this purse was the most hideous I had ever seen and I was stuck sitting in his car trying to act as if it was halfway decent. Then he hit me with this “You can’t get out the car until I get a kiss” ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why me?! He then proceeded to lean over, I had to act quick. Somehow, I got him to call Kendall for me on his phone and made it seem like I just HAD to go inside to get my phone because she wasn’t answering. A normal woman, would have left the gift and never returned. But not greedy Jaycee, no Jaycee is a selfish little brat and STILL took it knowing the effect it would have.

Jake left not to long after that scene, making me promise I would consider hanging out with him…… NOT HAPPENING. He harassed me the rest of the day. I was at one of my friends from high schools family cookout, a guy. And no we have never dated. Jake kept trying to invite himself. I was there with Kendall and my boy bff had just gotten me some wine because apparently I was taking up space. He had said that because I was the only one not drinking. I told them I only drink apple cider beer, not Coronas and all that crap. I was girly sheesh. Jake was totally blowing my high, and I decided it just had to be done. Obviously, it had to be done a few weeks ago but I had let this linger long enough.

Dante was the same. He KNEW I had been ignoring him and called me out on it, yet he’s still calling. Yesterday, he even tried to catch me slipping, everyone knows I love food.

“Let’s go grab dinner” he suggested.

Luckily, I had already had Applebee’s, right before my Pedi and shellac manicure, so dinner wasn’t all that appealing to me and I told him so. Again, adios Dante!

Yesterday I decided to take my friend out after work. She had been having a rough week and needed to get out the house, so I told her meet me at my job. We went to the mall, and out to eat, and I took her to see Kendall’s new place and just had girl talk for a few. We finally made it back to my job at around 10’ish and…………………. No car.

“Ummm where’s your car?” I asked Tee.

She looked at me like I was dumb, and I understood that. How was she supposed to know she had been with me all day after I had told her it was okay to park there. Tee had a young child, not as young as mines. However, she was already having a off week, this only made matters worse. I knew I was going to have to pay for this. I called my manager at work, she told me where the car might be, and I hauled tail over there. Two hours later, I had Tees car free of charge. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I am a HUSTLER. They were not hearing it at first. He told me pay now and take it up with the manager in the morning, but I’m adamant when I want something and my persuasion game is serious.

Then there are my faithfuls: Cam and Eden. I will admit, those few days I spent with Cam last week had me feeling him a tad bit. Did I or did I not say that Cam always pulled this stunt and then always messed it up? This time was no different. My grandmother, yes grandmother, posted a Facebook status. What it was about is not important, Cam commented on it and then the next day Eden commented on it. I guess Facebook notified Cam of a new comment and low and behold, he sees its Eden. He then sends me a long drawn out message:

Cam: I am going to let you be. I don’t have the energy to keep trying to prove my heart to you. Idk what is going on with you in your life and I’m sure you feel it’s none of my business anyway. So with that being said goodbye. If he or anybody else wants you that bad then go with your heart. I can’t compete with anyone you still love or that you are feeling. So from here on out I won’t bother you with my thoughts I will keep them to myself.

Jaycee: Aight Cam bye.

Cam: Your friend seems to be back around I see that’s why I said that.

Jaycee: Wth are you talking about?

And that’s what he was talking about. Can we pause and give Cam a round of applause for his dramatics? *Claps* Was the speech necessary? I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked Eden and of course, he had no clue what I was talking about, he did not even know Cam had commented, he had just been asking a question. I shrugged it off and confirmed Cam was still the insecure bastard he had always been, making something out of nothing. He continued with this until I finally had to just ignore it all together.

That in turn though had opened the gates for Eden to start his “I miss you” texts. I swear I have no problem getting guys, I have a problem getting decent guys. Therefore, I am starting to think its me! Lol

No one has my interest right now, they all irk my darn nerves to the 10^th power and should leave me the eff alone because we are headed nowhere fast.

I finally made it home last night and fell out. I glanced at my phone one last time and there was a text.

Mark: Jace

What now?

T..G.I.F..... and then I woke up

I may have to retract my statement of always saying “I drink on occasion”. Unless the weekends are now considered an occasion, cause I’ve been DRANKIN!

Okay so last I chatted with you all I was all caught up I believe. That evening my friend Tish had called. She wanted details on who I had been laid up with in the hotel earlier that week. I had not told my friends who I was with but I had posted pictures of me lounging in the Jacuzzi and they weren’t selfies, so Tish wanted answers. I told her to swing by and she ended up coming by later that night as I was finally unpacking from my trip.

I was genuinely happy to see Tish; I did not see her as much as I wanted because none of my other friends liked her. We had all been friends at one point but everyone had a falling out over random things, including me and Tish, even Tish and Kendall! At least us 3 had let bygones be bygones and she was one of my besties nowadays.

I caught her up on everything with Cam and told her about Dante. He had been calling me nonstop so I decided to answer while Tish was there, so she could be my excuse to get off the phone. Before I could shake him, he invited himself over and me and Tish were standing outside her car by the time he pulled up.

Let me just first say Dante BLEW me that night. For one he was high. I always assumed he was high whenever I did see him because he laughed a lot and was always acting a little off. However, I shrugged it off usually. Tonight I could definitely tell and Tish could too. We both called him out on it and of course, he just laughed. I’m not judging him or anyone else who partakes, but to me smoking period is such a freaking turn off. I do not like it whatsoever. We let Dante entertain us for about an hour before I noticed it was after 11 p.m. I told them I was heading in for bed and Tish took off, but for some reason Dante lingered around. Had he not heard me? He tried to make small talk but I shut that down and left him outside with my brother, who had pulled up. They happened to know each other and I took that as my exit.

What put the nail in the coffin was yesterday. Kendall is a manager at a car rental place and she’s use to people asking for discounts and despises it. She will hook up her friends and me of course, and even people she talks to on the regular. But not random people, which I understand. So, Dante called and the conversations goes a little something like this.

Dante: Hey…… you should tell Kendall hook me up with a rental car, I’m sick of driving this work truck and I don’t have car insurance.

Let us pause here. He CLAIMS he has a car back in the state he lives in, yet you don’t have car insurance? That doesn’t add up at all. Moving on.

Me: She is not going to do that, she hates when people ask her for favors that she doesn’t know.

Dante: You have car insurance right?

Me: Ummm yeah, most people with sense who have cars usually do.

Dante: You should get it for me then.

Me: She’s not going to do that, she knows I don’t need a rental car.

Dante: So lie, and make something up, cause you have insurance so you could prob get it right?

Me: Hold on for a second I have a beep.

*CLICK*
Was he serious? I do NOT know you like that for one. For two that’s bold to even tell me you don’t have insurance and then think I’m going to lie to my cousin for you, putting her job at a disadvantage, and then put myself at one by letting you hold a car in my name. It’s a wrap for Mr. Dante. That was turn off number 2 and that is two too many. He called yesterday while we were out and I brushed him off every time. Have a nice life pothead!

The rest of my Friday was good, I took a nice nap and headed to Fridays with three of my high school friends. If you haven’t heard they have endless appetizers for $10. You order one and you can keep them coming all night. The trick is you can only pick one appetizer BUT if there are a few of you, like there was of us, you can each pick something different and share. Hence, we shared and ate till our tummy’s looked 3 months pregnant. Good times!

Afterwards we decided to go to a club, we were all in casual wear but a few of our friends were inside including my other bestie Taylor, the Korean and black one. We got to the door and one of my friends doesn’t have her ID, turned out she left it in Fridays. I still ran inside the club to say hey to Taylor for about 10 minutes before taking the trip back to the restaurant. Afterwards we hit another bar and guess whose inside? Jake.

I can’t say I didn’t know he would be there, he had said the bar next door when he texted me earlier, which is why I went to the opposite one. Nevertheless, he had one up on me. I immediately did an about face. Jake hung out with two of my friends that I was with boyfriends. Therefore, they knew we were there. I did the “Wobble” with his best friend, who is actually cool and total opposite of him, he’s an sports agent. I still hadn’t ran directly into Jake though yet. We got some Apple shots and headed to the outside of the bar where we played the little beanbag toss games, and had some laughs. This was a predominantly white bar, which I loved. Some other bar goers were teaching me and my friend how to “correctly” play the game, when I noticed Jake noticing me. I was being childish I still didn’t go over and speak.

I went to check my phone and he had texted me.

Jake: I didn’t even know you were here.

Lies, he knew. I closed it and continued my antics. Meanwhile I had been flirting with Eden via text. Remember when I said I thought they girlfriend was pregnant because he posted a picture of them with a future date? Well, I was very wrong, they were song lyrics for one, and for two he posted it because she had went thru his phone and saw everything his little immature tail had been saying and doing with other chicks. After her investigation, she broke his phone, that’s why I had never heard back from him. I really thought that was dumb of her though.

My logic is this: Okay you want to search your guy’s phone, perfectly fine IF you plan on leaving him when you find what you are looking for. If you don’t, then why give yourself the headache and heartbreak?

Eden said there were pictures of girls and texts and everything, poor thing. I know seeing my name was probably the worst, she hates me, and my name is still tattooed across his heart till this day. And honestly when I looked back to see exactly what she may have read it looks like Eden is always trying to get with me an I’m always  saying “No Eden, you have a girlfriend leave me alone”. That had to feel like a punch in the gut to her.

It didn’t solve anything either, because now he’s just calling and texting from his work cell phone. He told me she has my number now because she screen shotted everything. I care not! I told him if she calls I’m telling the truth because she shouldn’t be questioning me about HER man. He had loyalty to you not me. If I wanted him in that way I’d have him so kick rocks. He responded “Yeah I agree, tell her everything, don’t leave anything out maybe that will make her leave for good”. Turn off, if you don’t want to be with her then break it off, stop being a wimp. Eden WANTS to be there or else he wouldn’t be. Simple as that.

I swear I haven’t fooled around with Eden though. I respect relationships for the most part. Sure we talk and everything, but that’s just us.

Okay, I lost focus. I did end up speaking to Jake, he had just finished buying some girl a drink at the bar. Can’t say that it bothered me at all, but it was humorous to watch. He hugged me and asked was I about to leave and I told him yes.

When I got home, I felt like 10 bricks were on my head, I glanced at my phone before I passed out. At some point I had texted Jake, this is why I shouldn’t drink. I was definitely tripping.

1:56 a.m

Me: SMH

2:00 a.,m.
Jake: Smh

2:02 a.m.

Jake: ?

2:02 a.m
Jake: Wassup

2:15 a.m.
Jake: Goodnight hope you made it home safe

2:45 a.m

Jake: Imma give you your bag tomorrow ok

This morning I woke up and slapped myself. I don’t even remember how or why this may have happened. The texts between Eden and me were even worst and raunchy as crap. No more drinking Jace.

Good morning folks………….. SMH

Finally up to date...... 07/10/2014

By Wednesday, I still wasn’t able to pull off a full day at work. Therefore, I left early and decided to go get my hair braided. I’m black but I’m sure you all figured that out by now. I loved my natural curls I had been doing but it was becoming a bit much with maintaining it, and I decided for the rest of the summer I wanted to be able to do as I pleased and not have my hair as an obstacle.

At noon, I jetted off to the nearest braiding shop and let them go to work. Five hours later, I was done and I called Kendall. I still hadn’t seen her since I’d been back in town and that was SO unlike us. We had talked daily though and she had actually started hanging out with one of Ray’s friends. You remember Ray, the one that blew me off, not once in life, but now twice. I’ve come to terms that he’s just not that into me!

However, his buddy is very much into Kendall. Apparently, they use to talk when we were younger and were now having flirtatious gatherings since I had been out of town. Go figure. He was the opposite of Ray though, he called daily and from work if he had to, and had recently elevated to visiting. Isn’t he quite the charmer?

Have you heard of Glide? It’s an video app. I can record a video and send it to a friend as long as it’s under five minutes, the watch it and can record back. I was totally against it at first. It seemed dumb when I could just text or call but now me and my friends LIVE by it. Anyhow, Kendall glided me right before I came back and was so excited as soon as the video started playing:

“Jayceeeeee so me and *insert Ray’s friend name here* were talking last night and you came up. So I tried to play it off and I was like, what all happened with that I don’t even know where they went wrong? Sooooo he was saying how Ray ALWAYS falls for THOTS. He was like they were so happy when they found out he was talking to you because you actually have something going for yourself besides the typicals girls he usually dates. But then it just ended. So his friends did know about you so that’s good Jaycee. But, don’t worry its not you, you just aren’t a THOT I guess, he’s fucking retarded with how he carries things anyway you can do better, no one has time for his inconsistent ass. Talk to you soon love ya, miss ya. Kiss Baby Boy for me!”

Ok so THOT is a term that makes totally no sense whatsoever, but its being used in my generation at rapid speeds obviously. It stands for “That Hoe Over There”, again it makes zero sense. Kendall’s Glide didn’t reassure me that it was Ray that was the issue and not me, I think I just didn’t deal with rejection well. I always, somehow, someway usually got what I wanted or whom I wanted and I did not have to be the aggressor either. But, he had forced my hand and I had lost. To THOTS of all the things to lose to, go figure. I closed the app after watching it again. Eff Ray….. I had bigger fish to fry.

Cam had texted me this morning and asked to see a picture of how my braids turned out. He had come up to the braiding shop while I was there and gave me some money, he had also gotten my car detailed for me while I was at work. I appreciated it, but I could not help feeling as if Cam owed me all this anyway. Monday I had just dropped $2000.00 on that car loan he had in my name. The got darn bank was harassing me as soon as the payments were a hour late. It was $2094.00 left and now just $94.00 left on it. I was going to tell him pay that and take it as a blessing; he had one debt paid off. It was easier to get rid of that bill then letting them annoy me 15 days every month, trust me.

He had a job interview this morning and I wished him luck and carried on with my day. You know who was starting to annoy me? Dante. The out of towner, who has yet to return back out of town. Something about his life just didn’t add up. I believed he worked every day, but I think he boosted his position up higher than it was. He said it was a family company and he came in town every now and then to help out when they got new contracts. He did drive a work truck, so SOMEONE trusted him. But I didn’t.  I think he just helped out a family member when they needed him because he didn’t have a got darn real job.

He had tried to come visit me when I was with Cam, I had told him I was with Kendall at a hotel. Why did I lie? Heck if I know, but I did. I didn’t tell anyone I was with Cam though actually. I was on the low. Then when I was back and on my way to Kendall’s yesterday he tried to invite himself over. Kendall and me had agreed I would meet her at her new place. She had left me a key and would be home later and this to Dante must have sounded like music to his ears. NOT! I had no intentions of calling him once I got there as he suggested. Instead, I went to Chic-Fil-A, got me a meal and a milkshake and settled in Kendall’s bed to wait up for her. My phone was unsually dry last night and I ended up dozing off. Kendall waltzed in at midnight with grocery bags and some 21- year old. I caught up with her for a while, and let her know about my secret rendezvous with Cam before leaving them in the kitchen and calling it a night.

And now here I am. I do want to state that in my last post, it generated a couple comments about Jake, ugh, even his name grosses me out. Anyway, it was a lot of commotion about Jake and me being a gold digger. I will never take offense to opinions, I actually like them and realize they may not always go in my favor. That’s kind of why I’m doing this blog, because I know sometimes I do some dumb ish and I need to be called out on it because I tend to act first and think later. I’ll do something and in my head I’ll attempt to second guess it, but it get pushed out the way. I figure I’ll cross the consequence bridges when I get to them, which is the dumbest idea ever. I do it all the time. I had a Jake before believe it or not, and I THOUGHT I learned my lesson, but clearly not. So stay tuned because its going to be a bumpy bumpy BUMPY ride thru Jaycee’s life!

False Alarm

“You bought ya bank card?” Cam asked suddenly checking his pockets.

“Noooo” I sung slowly, “You specifically told me not to!”

“And you listened? Since when do you listen?” Cam looked puzzled.

I sat there and looked at him and suddenly I realized why he was panicking.

“Jace, I left my wallet in my other pants, we gonna have to dip out on the bill, unless you want to take a cab to the hotel and grab my wallet right quick!” he exclaimed. We had thought it would be cute to walk the strip to Hooters and it was. But he was really talking crazy.

I was almost 30 years old I was NOT walking out on a bill, he had lost his mind. Of course, I had my bank card because Cam was full of crap as usual and I knew better. He kept on telling me escape routes and I half listened. He told me he was going to the bathroom and I should make my escape while he was gone. I could not believe this dude. Once he left I asked the actress for the bill and hurried to pay it before Cam returned. I was going to see if he would really walk out that restaurant without paying. So I never let on that I did in fact have my bank card on me.

Cam returned and looked at me crazy “Why you didn’t leave, I was going to slip out the side door?”

I was over it honestly, over it and him, then he started laughing.

“Let me quit playing with you, let me pay this bill so we can get outta here” he continued laughing.

“Wait….. you had it the whole time? I just paid the bill Cam, you are an effing jerk!” I fussed. I showed him the receipts and kept on with my rant.

“You really think I would do that? Damn, I must have really fucked up with you huh?” he pulled out cash and reimbursed the tip and me for the money I paid. I was glad he did but still mad he had played that dumb little joke.

We left and headed to the mall and did some light shopping, and I mean light. He bought me three shirts that I definitely did not need but he was badgering me to get something so I grabbed those. We got back to the room and had some more sex sessions before passing out. Sex is mental. It has to be because each time with Cam was good and he had the nerve to comment and say “You know Jace, when we good we are GOOD, but when we bad it’s awful. I can have you and keep you happy, I just can’t go broke, because once I go broke you go slam off!”

I thought about it and he was right. But, sheesh he made it seem like I was a gold digger. I know he didn’t think that but it came off that way and I wasn’t. It’s just that I know I bring a lot to the table. I’m established, well somewhat, but I can stand on my own two feet so I require someone that can do the same. I’m not going to struggle with you when I wouldn’t be struggling on my own. I can do badly by myself, I don’t need help. In addition, that was my issue with Cam he would hinder me more than help me and I couldn’t have that. Now I can’t say if he gets his ish together I could totally still turn my back on what we had, but I’m not considering that either. A few good days together are common for us. We always get along for a while, and then he will be right back to his same old BS, so thanks for the fun Cam and have a safe trip home!

Jake, Jake, Jake (the bag buyer). He texted me at 1:52 in the a.m. when I was staying the night with Cam saying, “I miss you”.

What could he possibly miss? We NEVER hang out. He proceeds with the following text:

Jake: I really like you, you’re special

Me: How you know?

Jake: I think about you all the time wondering what you are doing and you are attractive to me, and you have a nice booty

Me: Funny

Jake: I haven’t heard from you, am I still on your annoying list?

Me: I’ve been on the go I’m still tired from my vacay

Jake: Oh ok hopefully I can get a kiss from you when I give you your new bag I bought right?

Me: I’m not a kisser, I kiss my baby with these lips

WTF!? I’m not kissing you for a purse. Guys have bought me bags that cost $2300, if you think those little $150-$200 Michael Kors bags are going to make me hop on it and do a full split you have another thing coming! Ok, I know what some of you are thinking, I started it when I took the first one, then the second, and you are correct. I’m not debating that. I did, but they were so cute. However, not THAT cute. Jake is irking me. He went on to tell me he was looking at houses for when he scores this new job, then he says, “Maybe I’ll take you with me”. I don’t curse but I wanted to say “Like hell you will!”. I just don’t get this guy. He asked me to how I felt about him and I reiterated that my divorce signature was probably still wet and I only wanted to be friends, you would think he would be turned off. His response: Well I’m still going to treat you like a queen, just because. I’m going to wear you down.

What have I gotten myself into?

The Return of Cam

First off I want to state, the On the Run Tour with Beyoncé and Jay Z is AMAZING!!!! I went to the show with Dani, Wendy, and 2 other of my college friends in the city and OMG. I’m not even a Beyoncé fanatic, but they made me want to get married again and pop out another baby………….. almost.

Anyway, I’m back home now and I didn’t make it to work until today, and that barely happened, I was 45 minutes late. I was supposed to be back Monday but ish came up. I never did see Mark again but we have been keeping in contact, nothing heavy just casual convo. He popped my divorce cherry so honestly I’m kind of over it. He can’t do much for me where he is now. I'm about action this summer, and he may not be it, Im not writing him off yet though at all.

Eden never returned my calls or my texts, I wonder if he blocked me somehow since him and his girlfriend are on good terms? I do not know but when he does eventually try to call or text me he is in for a rude awakening. I swear to you all he is getting ignored to the 10th power! He likes my Instagram pictures though which irked me more, I think it’s time to delete him on social networking too.

Ok so while I was out of town Cam called me and asked me to bring Baby Boy to see him when we returned. I told him he wouldn’t be coming back for another two weeks. Baby boy and my mom were going to be staying longer while I returned for work. So then, he suggested I come. He had a hotel on the waterfront. He was there for some kind of thingy that I can’t get into, but it was free. Any who I turned him down. He kept asking and eventually I said ok we could talk. I ended up taking work clothes because I didn’t know how late it would be when I returned and I wanted to be prepared.

I got there and we immediately went to eat dinner at Bonefish Grill. Those Bang Bang shrimp are to die for.  He slid me $100 across the table, and while it wasn’t much I appreciated the gesture. Even though in retrospect its money he probably owes me. Nevertheless, I took it and told him thanks. He was on this whole “I’m going to make this right, I know what I did was wrong, if I have to work two jobs to make you happy, we will get married again” kick. Blah blah blah. After that, we went for ice cream, and when we finally made it back to his suite, yes suite, it was so nice, I fell out.

I woke up to fingers in my vagina. Rubbing it, going in and out if it, massaging it, just blissful fingers making me moan. I opened my legs wider and for a hot second I remembered this was Cam I was with. The same Cam I hated two weeks ago for ruining my birthday. But just like that the thought was gone an his mouth was on my breasts and he sucked gently. I got extremely horny in a matter of seconds an pulled Cam on top of me, right before he was about to dive in he decided to bless me with his tongue and I squirmed around as he took me to ecstasy. For some reason Cam really had me into this. We hadn’t had sex in months because he turned me off so bad but now I was all into the mood and loving it. He put on a condom and plunged into me. I had told Cam when we first got married that I liked when guys talked during sex but I didn’t want to talk back, I’m weird I know but it worked for me.

“You feel me baby? Did you miss this dick?” he panted as he moved in and out of me, I was super wet an I still could only moan. I made sure my hips met his with each thrust. When he sped up so did I, when he slowed down I was right on time. We kept at it like this for a while until I felt something hot inside of me.

“GET OFF ME CAM, MOVE!” I slid back.

“What Jace? The condom is still on” he pulled me back trying to stay inside me.

“No, you came I can fill it, get up get up get up” I panicked.

He backed up and sure enough, he had came but the condom was still on. I didn’t care I didn’t play when it came to that. I didn’t even want to come close to making a accidental baby, especially not with Cam. I got up to wash up and that night I slept like a baby.

Cam had to get up the next morning but he bought me breakfast before he left. I called Mark back since he had called the night before and we made small talk before I told him I was heading back to bed. I kept all the curtains closed and when he got back and woke me it was 1 p.m.! I had slept the day away! Cam offered lunch and I declined but I did get up and spent some time in the Jacuzzi just relaxing. I took a hot shower afterwards and got dressed and we went to Hooters for dinner.

“Leave your purse” Cam stated when I grabbed my designer bag.

“My money is in it” I stated.

“You don’t need it, have you ever needed it when you were with me?” he asked.

I looked at him like he was dumb and we both laughed “Ummmm yes all the darn time jerk!”

“Okay, okay but you won’t anymore so leave everything, just get your ID in case we get a drink or something” he told me.

I grabbed my ID and my bankcard, I did not trust Cam financially, so eff that!

Sure enough, we got to Hooters and he pulled a stunt on me……………….