Guess whose back? Clue: Its not me!

Derek really screwed me up in the head; I mean his ass really did a number on me. He was ideal in my eyes and now I doubted him. How much? So much that I got back with Cam!

Seriously, lol I cut everyone off. I really did an “Its not you, it’s me, I need more then you can give right now” texts to all my little whores and basically started ignoring them. Baby Boy had been acting up in school so Cam had been coming around more and honestly, it was just easier having him around for help. So much easier that my judgment was clouded and I said maybe we can work after all.

Cam was all for it . He started coming over every day and taking Baby Boy to school so I could sleep in. Of course, we started having sex, no protection whatsoever. The first time he came inside of me I freaked out though.

“Why would you do that?” I shrieked. I was on birth control so I was not THAT worried, but still he hadn’t known that.

“I want a baby with you Jaycee, we can be a real family again” he sounded like a damn Lifetime movie.

I thought about it and started saying a 2^nd kid would not be so bad, my son needed a sibling perhaps. What I didn’t think about was all the hell he had put me through with the one we had up until now. Any who, we kept at it, everyday basically trying to make one. The responsible thing to do would have been to actually fix us first, but my dumb ass completely skipped all irrationality. Because at the end of the day if Cam effed up again, it was me who would be the single mother with 2 kids.

We actually did well tho, up until last week. We took a trip to New York City. It was his birthday, and he said he had some friends there, well I did too from my college days so it worked out perfectly. I actually called my friends ahead of time and made plans and I advised Cam to do the same. His response was “I don’t need to do all that, my niggas will be down for whatever” Grow up! Seriously, but whatever. We get there and surprisingly (to him not me) all his friends were either out of toen themselves, at work, or had plans. Therefore, we met up with my friends first and hung out with them and their mates and I thought we were having a good time honestly. Cam was chatting and so was I. A few hours passed and I told them we had to run. We got in the car and I was all smiles until I noticed his glare.

“What’s wrong?” I asked buckling my seat belt while also trying to wave goodbye as we sped off.

“You, its always about you, it’s my birthday and you spend half the day with YOUR friends like I aint have people I needed to see, now everyone busy again!” he fussed.

I wanted to say they were busy from jump but I bit my lip for a moment instead. “So why didn’t you tell me, they had freed up, we could have been left” I said calmly.

“I shouldn’t have had to tell you, fuck I wasted my time even coming out here, and you could’ve come by your damn self!”

He went on and on and on, I asked him to stop for food mid-way in his rant and he did, but he wouldn’t eat. When I came out the take out spot he was in the passenger seat.

“You can drive since this was your trip” he spit out. How was I going to eat? That was my concern, I was sick of the attitude he had with me since he is the one that failed to plan. We spent a hour fussing about why I couldn’t drive, which was my way to finish my food, and then I decided to drive. He did get to see one friend, but he was still pissed.

We went to see War Room the next day, and listen people, if you listen to nothing else I say this is a must see, its AWESOME, trust me on this one. It’s for all ages and I swear you will not leave the same. If you don’t believe in God, don’t go tho, because of course you probably will not like it, no offense, no judging, just saying lol.

 Anyway the movie had us in better spirits. In addition, the positivity in it had me practicing things that happened in the movie, one was taking my problems to prayer instead of battling them on my own or with the person. Ever since I started that I haven’t been too sure about Cam. He works and currently lives an hour away. So yes him coming down was a good gesture, but if I’m pregnant, and he’s an hour away, who the fuck is helping me with two kids!? Of course my parents, but isn’t that how I am now with Cam or when we were beefing. His resolution was for me to move with him. Away from my family and support and uproot my baby from his school.

“Cam that makes no sense, then what about daycare for the new born, my mom is not going to come way out there to watch the baby, she keeps Kendall’s baby too.”

“We can figure it out Jaycee” but we had not.

We had small little arguments, but financially I had worked on him too. I told him he needed to start putting his checks in our old joint account, so I could monitor what the hell was going on with his money that he never could save. That was the reason we divorced prior, well one of many, but finances. I was the breadwinner and I had not liked it one bit. But he had been putting the money in the account so I couldn’t complain (mind you I posted a month ago, ALL of this happened in a matter of weeks, I really need self-evaluation, I’m started to think I am crazy). I have learned that I act entirely too quickly off impulse. There is no reason we should be moving this fast especially with the past we have had.

Then I got mad, because I have trips planned for next summer, I cannot go with a new born. I have been ripping and running all summer. The first week Cam and me banged I went to North Carolina, the next I went to Philadelphia, the next me and Cam went to NYC, and this past weekend I went to D.C. I took Baby boy everywhere but to D.C. It was a girls trip.

We went and booked a ridiculously priced hotel downtown, parking was $41!!! The effing nerve.

We were dolled up and hit the nightlife. I HAD to stop in this area called Adams Morgan, because they had a pizza spot that sold jumbo slices that would make you slap your mother. While there one of my friends shoe heels snapped, so we had to go back to the hotel downtown, by the time I’m tired and fall asleep on the way to the club, but it ended up being a good time.

The next say we woke up and went to a drag show brunch called Perry’s. Very entertaining, we headed back home after.  Cam has been pretty cool about all the trips, but he’s NEVER NOT working. He has his regular job then little side jobs, so I hardly ever see him except to sleep. And he always wants to have sex, so I started to feel like this was very one sided, and I started to get scared because I could very well be pregnant!

I woke up this morning forgetting it was only September 30^th and thinking it was October 1^st and that I had officially missed my period. Cam and Baby boy were sound asleep in my bed and I snuck in my personal bathroom and grabbed a pregnancy test. I had to pee so bad and was getting piss everywhere trying to get it on that stupid stick since I hadn’t properly prepped for it. I finally got enough on it and sat it on the sink. I refused to look at it until I got out the shower I had started running. Of course, I took a freaking birdbath being anxious and hurried out to check it.

I grabbed the test and almost passed out. What………………….. the……………… fuck!

Wacky Weekend

This weekend flew by but it was super long if that makes any sense..... but do I ever do? Friday after work I actually didn't want to go hang out at any happy hours. I went and got Kendall and her newborn, and Baby Boy of course and we had dinner at the mall, did a little shopping, and took Baby Boy to the playground after. Needless to say he was knocked out cold before we made it back home. Love nights like those!


I woke up Saturday to him poking me in my eyes. "Good morning Mommy, its time to get up!" I groaned but rose up to get breakfast ready and start getting us dressed. We were going to my Godsons football game that morning. When we arrived it was 1,000 effing degrees. I'm not lying. I planned on staying for an hour and slipping out. We stayed for 5 hours -_-. Baby Boy was having a ball and they had games for the kids so it ended up being a lengthy day.


We left around 3 and I went to get my mom and decided to go to the amusement park. We were season pass holders so any free time I got I used it. We stayed there until about 10p.m and she said she would keep him for the night. She wasn't doing me any favors, he was knocked out cold again he could've went home lol.


Of course my text line had been jumping all weekend. I no longer trusted my perfect Derek. He had a daughter the same age as my son. A few weeks ago he had told me that  he got a new phone and if his daughters mother inboxed me to just ignore it. Wait what? He didn't explain any further and I refused to talk to him until he did, and he finally caved in.


"Jaycee its not much to tell. I was picking my daughter up and she had my phone, somehow she opened my Facebook an her mom saw our messages and we got into a argument over it" he said calmly as if we were talking about the weather.


"Look cut the crap, that makes no sense, why would you get a new phone over that, and why would you all argue over that if you aren't together?"


"I had already been thinking about a new phone Jace, and I don't know why she argued, its stupid really" he was still calm.


I wanted to say "No you are stupid if you think I am buying that BS, but I got calm too and said "Ok!". I didn't have the energy to be bothered. He was 400 miles away, why even get all hype about it. He was up to no good and I was onto him. Sucks because he's really a nice guy, this is the first time I have had any sort of drama with him, even though it never was any yet technically.


Fast forward to this weekend and he's back to using his old phone like normal. So Saturday night 'm in the store at midnight looking for birthday gifts for a kids party Baby Boy was going to the next day and me and Derek are talking. He's headed home from work and when he gets there he hits me with "Let me get inside and settled and Ill call you in about 5 minutes"


I sighed "Don't bother, your 5 minutes is 55 minutes, Ill be sleep by then!"


"No seriously, 5 minutes" he bargained. I said ok, but my gut knew he wasn't calling back.


 Why? Because he got off the phone because he was with the girl or at her house, or something! I don't know which but it made sense. And he never called back! So I no longer trust him. He got caught slipping. He texted me yesterday talking about he had a bad day and wanted to talk to me to feel better. My response "Perfect, I'm still waiting for you to call back from last night!"


Don't try me!


I missed 1st service at church Sunday so I ran into Deacon at 2nd service. He wanted to go out to eat after and he wanted to take my mom so I said ok I would go. Then he decided just me and him should go. Not happening. I told him my mom cooked dinner and he came over after church. I had left early and he wasted no time trying to figure out where I went.
"I am your man Jaycee, I need to know these things" he sat beside me.
"You are most definitely not, either move over or just move period you are way too close, its hot, get off me!" I complained. My mom laughed and we spent the afternoon bantering back and forth. he was joking I was serious. I was not checking for him. Me and Kendall left a little after everyone had ate and ran some errands and went to the Birthday party for the afternoon.


Cam made me cry that night. I was exhausted after the party and he was coming over to cut Baby Boys hair. Baby Boy had fell asleep in the car an Cam pulled up as we got home and took him out for me. I asked him could he give him a bath because he was filthy from playing outside at the party.


"You give him one, and since hes sleep Ill cut his hair later this week" he said leaving.


"I give him one every night, can you do one thing since you are here dag!"


"Jaycee I saw all three of my kids mothers this weekend, yall are stressing me out, yall all want something all the time" he argued.


"That's my concern because? You should be more careful with your sperm" I spat out, "Look just give him a bath for me, that's the least you could do.


"No, bye and goodnight!" Cam headed out. I began to cry, I don't know why I think I was just frustrated. He noticed and I pushed him out and locked the door and grabbed my baby an started undressing him. About 2 minutes later, the doorbell rang. Of course his dumb self was back. He took his son from me and I heard him upstairs bathing him, then putting him in his bed. He came down and said Goodnight an left. Bastard. He started texting me, which annoyed me.


I never want you to hurt.


Sorry I made you cry.


I want to be with you and help you more but you have your guard up


I love you Jaycee lets work it out.


I threw the phone. Just be a father sheesh. I got myself ready for bed and I heard another text. This time it was Deacon.


Deacon: Im coming over.


I couldn't deal with any more men today. I turned over and went to bed. Wacky weekends right?! Other then those lames tho the weekend was perfect!

I'm not a Blogger!

It would be an insult to call myself a blogger because quite frankly I suck at it. Any little break throws me off. But someone posted and asked where I was so if even ONE person asks I come running!


I had to real my last post which was 4 months ago SHEESH! Soooooo much has changed. I was chasing Deacon in April now that tail is chasing me. I decided back in June I was done with him. I had a HUGE 30th birthday party, and the whole weekend was jam packed. All my friends came to town and Friday they threw me a House Party. I can admit I told Deacon last minute, it just wasn't his crowd. He was mad about that and didn't show and I'm not mad. I got super wasted and was passed out before midnight. The next day I spent it with a devilish hangover and finally got myself together mid afternoon. I got super dolled up because my "boo" was coming. "Ray" remember him? Of course you don't. The one I had met and we were perfect then he disappeared. Well he ended up coming back around an celebrating with me. The party was a freaking blast and I stayed sober. The sight of alcohol made me want to vomit for the rest of the summer.
Anywho Ray kicked it with me the rest of the weekend, and even after everyone left. We stayed up until 4 a.m. cleaning up from my house party. My last friend was leaving that Monday morning at 5 so we pulled an all nighter and took her to the airport then came back to my place and passed out. Ray did good for a few weeks but he is gone now. I don't know his deal but I give up trying. We were ok, then his job was sending him out for a few weeks, so you would think he would want to hang whenever we could/ I myself had trips lined up every weekend it seemed. I was going to DR for a week, then up North for 2 weeks, but he acted like it was no big deal. Long story short Ray left, I didn't see him. I've spoken to him once and he acted like nothing had changed, I cant live that life! lol


In the midst of this Deacon is steady trying to convince me he needs another chance, he didn't even get me a bday gift. He said he took it back, petty or what? Why even tell me that. I keep telling him we are better as friends, because I'm just not that into him anymore. I don't hang out with him or anything, I just respond to texts basically, and I've seen him at church twice this summer. He's not reeling me back in this time, I know its no point. He's too old for me and stuck in his way.


Derek is around, still lives 400 miles away but he's around. He bought me and Baby Boy bikes for my bday! If we lived in the same city I'd cuff him, he calls himself my boyfriend, but long distance is a joke (no offense) but for me it doesn't work.


I'm still at my same job no change. Its August apparently and I'm single and I'm fine with it. I'm not LOOKING for anyone, but soon as you stop looking they all start trying, so that's where I am. Even Dante Facebooked me this a.m. saying he missed me. I'm like you hid a whole baby for 9 months, kick rocks.


Eden and me communicate, but I don't love him in THAT way. I'm really good with friendship from him. He had his baby, she's ok. He's still miserable but that's not my problem. Enjoy that Eden.


Just trying to wrap it all up or catch up on everyone. My friends have been around all summer. They came down for Baby Boys birthday party, and we hit all the amusement parks. We got a timeshare last month and hung out with the kids for the weekend. Life is........ simple. And then there's Cam. Still a pain in my azz, still not doing his part, and still trying to get back together. He's not worth typing about. I don't know if I should just start back, or if its anyone I left out, or what so I'll play it by ear.

Status Checks

Deacon’s car was not there. Bittersweet. I was in that 50/50 place where I wanted to see him, but just to make sure he was okay then I could be angry again. Didn’t take long either. I stayed in bed all day after church. I started my “30 day diet” and I do not know if that had me in a rut or the lack of sleep. However, sleep was the cure so I stuck with that all day.

My phone woke me up and it was Derek. That made me smile.

“You stood me up!” I yawned into the phone.

“No you fell asleep, I called you and texted you, I couldn’t come with no address babe” he told me, which was true. We yapped about sweet nothings for about an hour before I told him I was going back to bed. Cam told me he was not bringing Baby Boy back until the morning and would just take him straight to school. I had taken off the next day so that was perfect I could sleep in. I slept clean till Monday afternoon. I decided I should probably wash and attempt to brush my teeth, if I had any kind of decency left in me.

I fixed my Vanilla protein shake after that and groaned as I gulped it down. It wasn’t all that good, kind of gritty but not terrible. I make some meal preps for work for the week and cut on “On Demand” to watch a movie. I decided on “21 Jump Street” which starred Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. It made me laugh a few times and by the time it finished it was time for me to get Baby Boy. My mom hadn’t seen him in a week so she had asked to keep him when he got back in town, I packed him a overnight bag, picked him up, and headed to her house. I hung out there for a few catching up, and that’s when she bought up Deacon.

“Deacon texted me and asked how I was” she said not knowing of our current state.

I was semi pissed, glad he had texted her because now I knew he was capable of communicating, but now officially pissed that he was blatantly ignoring me.

“That’s cool we aren’t speaking” I told her and changed the subject.

After making sure Baby Boy was squared away I then raced home so I could catch “Love and Hip Hop ATL” premiere. Yes, I am a sucker for reality TV. I couldn’t even focus on it though because I had so many thought rambling in my head.

Deacon had some nerve, he did that on purpose, check on your own mom not mines. I took my mind off it when a text came thru from my HR connect at a job I had applied for. This was far more important anyway.

HR: They sent a recommendation to your manager check on that ASAP.

WTF! She probably wouldn’t recommend me, I didn’t know they were even involved. That ended and ruined the night for me, and Tuesday morning after that awful protein shake I hurried in and sent an email to my manager asking if she had gotten a recommendation request for me.

After making me wait half the day, she told me she had received it and returned it last week. That wasn’t telling me jack diddly squat. I was irritated by now. I sent her another email asking if she recommended me or not (after I found out I had the right to know, at first I was scared she might say “None of your business”). No response again. Finally near the end of the day I opened up an instant message from her.

Manager: Jaycee, I received your request, we should talk in person about the recommendation request and my response.

OMG! That couldn’t be good…………………… could it? L

Stalker-ish?

I skipped out of work on Friday. My friends and I were having a sleepover for all of our kids. It sounded fun at first but when I got to the house we had rented, and took in all the kids and their friends, I knew it would be a long night. The house had an indoor pool and that was first up. I designated to handle that. Bad idea (I can’t swim) so that tells you the genius’s I was with! Just kidding. We had a lifeguard on deck as well. We did the pool thing for about an hour, then snacks and games, and then the gym. I tapped out somewhere in between then, I posted some pics on social media and noticed it was 3 a.m. and they ALL were wide-awake. Even my kid. I woke back up and it was 5 a.m., Cam had showed up to pick up Baby Boy because I had to be at work by 7 a.m. for OT. I got him together then helped the rest of the kids get their things together and was on my way.

The only way to describe my weekend from there is PURE DEATH!! I only did 2 hours at work, then went home to shower (fell asleep standing up) and meet Kendall at Picture People for her bi-weekly maternity pics. Yes, she takes them every time they have a deal -_-. We went to have lunch at Fridays after.

“What are you wearing to the party?” she asked.

I yawned “What party?”

“Jaycee, seriously, the surprise party tonight for Michelle’s 30^th” she rolled her eyes at me.

I frowned my face up and groaned, I was so tired “Actually I forgot all about it, I had all intentions of going home and calling it a night, but I HAVE to go, she always supports my events”.

Michelle was my middle/high school friend. We were not as close as we were when we were younger, but we showed up to each other things still. We wrapped up our meal and I promised Kendall I would meet her at her house to ride to the party together. It was already after four and we had to be there BY 6 p.m. I raced home and the outfit I picked out in my head looked God awful. I was currently weighing in at 134 and I Hated it. I was a 120 lbs. kind of girl. While I was shapelier and got compliments on my new weight, it also came with the stomach pudge and love handles. I tried on 3 more dressed and none covered up my “new body”.

“Eff this” I threw the dresses in a pile. Tomorrow I was going to start my 30 day Arbonne shake deal. It was a protein shake for breakfast, a balanced lunch, and then a veggie and fruit shake for dinner. I looked at my shape in my body length mirror and decided this time (the millionth) I WAS going to stick with it and hopefully drop 14 lbs.

I found some boot cut jeans and a flowy top. I dressed it up with heels, accessories, and one of my designer bags, and pulled my hair into a topknot bun. My flowy top showed side boobs, it was super cute, and it hid my belly (double win). I glanced at it again to make sure it was not too revealing and decided I was ok. I looked at the clock: 5:41 p.m. Whelp, no time to meet Kendall at her place. I told her I would meet her at the party instead and raced out the door. I beat her there and watched people parade in, I was glad I opted for a more casual look then my dresses. I would have been TOO dressed up.

We made it in by 6 and I was bored. The Birthday girl did not come until an hour and a half later and I did have a little fun dancing and posting group flicks and seeing some old friends. By 9p.m I was telling my goodbyes. Tish was there too and a few of my other close friends. I pulled Tish to the side.

“We need to do a drive by” I whispered.

“On whom?” she looked genuinely confused.

“Deacon, I haven’t spoken to him since Tuesday, I gave this big text speech on how his plate was full and there was no room for me, and he just never responded” I filled her in.

Taye sighed but nodded ok. We agreed she would meet me at my house when she left the party and 30 minutes later, I hear her outside blowing her horn. Rude wench it was 10 p.m. people were sleeping I’m sure!

“I’m sick of this negro!” Taye started “Why the fuck is he not answering the phone and shit? He is too old for this bullshit, and I don’t know why you even bother with his ass anymore.”

It was best for me to stay silent. I gave her directions as she ranted and finally we were at his house. I couldn’t tell if he was home and in bed or gone. He had a garage so his car could’ve been in there.

“Now what?” Taye asked.

“We can go” I said glumly, this had down nothing for my curiosity.

“The fuck we can, I’m going to knock on the door!” she threw the car in park.

I literally screamed guys “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Tish you CANT! OMG no, you know how crazy that will look?”

She laughed “Jaycee calm down, its not crazy, we will knock he’s going to answer, then you can ask why the hell he’s ignoring you after you see he’s ok, cause we both know he’s ok”

I knew nothing was wrong with his behind. Just like, he knew how I felt about being ignored. We finally drove off and I asked her to take me to Wal-Mart, so I could get the things I needed for my 30 day thingy. We were super cute in there at 11 p.m. with my cart and we both were on an “Eff guys” high. We checked out and sat in the car in front of my house for another hour just talking and venting.

“What ever happened to Derek?” Taye asked.

“Let’s call him, he’s still around!” I perked up. Derek was always a mood lifter.

I was so disoriented from my lack of sleep at this point that I was being super silly and Derek immediately thought I was drunk.

“Drive down here” I pleaded.

“That’s a 4 hour drive babe” he told me.

“So?” I slurred back.

“OK, let me go grab some things and I’ll hop on the road” I didn’t believe him but I accepted his answer, told Tish goodnight, and took my things inside. In less than 10 minutes I was snoring.

I woke up to my alarm the next morning; I wanted to go to early service at church to avoid seeing Deacon (the tables had turned that quick). *I went from semi stalking him to wanted to avoid him if possible.

 I checked my phone, Derek had called and texted last night. He was actually going to come! That was sweet, but honestly I needed that sleep. I decided I’d call him back after church and I hopped in the shower and raced to church. I pulled up in record time and…………………… my heart sank.

Feedback?! (New Post Below)

Is it better or boring with my diving more into my actual life and the day to day? Just trying to switch it up instead of focusing on all my random males I come across.

Either way let me know, wouldnt want to be wasting my time or yours if this isn't coming across the way I'm wanting it too!

P.S I accept good and bad criticism, I'm not pro by far I am learning as I go about this blogging business. Just working on my approach and cocnsistency right now.

xoxo Jaycee

Circus Clowns

“I just wanted to touch basis with you on the status of your interviews you had” my supervisor started.

It was none of her business; thank God, she had nothing to do with the hiring process of other locations. I cleared my throat and gave that shadiest answer I could “It’s ok”.

She wasn’t going to make this easy and kept tackling a way to get more info “Yes, you had quite a few interviews this past week, surely that’s a good sign?”

“I guess so” I shifted in my seat and looked her in her eyes letting her know this conversation was over before it even began.

“Ok well good luck, keep me posted, make sure you grab the mail and get that done this morning please and also I need some cases from you, they were someone else’s but they haven’t gotten to it so I’m hoping you can help them out” she smiled dismissing me.

Wench! “Sure can!” I smiled back. I was always ahead of my own workload so I really didn’t mind. What bothered me was her doing it to intentionally try to make me mind and get under my skin. I went back to my desk and knocked out the mail and extra work she had assigned me. Of course it wasn’t anything simple but it made my day fly by so whatever!

I checked Facebook when I got a break and noticed one of my friends mention going to the circus. It was a weekday and I wasn’t sure Baby Boy would stay up but I inquired nonetheless and we made plans to meet up and go together. Best decision ever! We went to a preshow where he got to see the animals up close and personal and he danced the whole show. He was so excited it warmed my heart. I had not been to the circus since I was a kid myself. Nevertheless, we all had a great time.

We got home super late and I got us ready for bed, but I still didn’t close my eyes til almost midnight. I uploaded some pics of us and sent some to Cam and my mom and dad before calling it a night.

No boy drama guys lol I told you it’s much more extreme reading it then it really is realistically.

The person I lost my virginity too, which happens to be my high school sweetheart has been in my inbox for a few weeks. I told you all my ex’s are having babies and he’s the first to pop one out. He’s been with a girl for a while and they recently broke up, I guess a few months ago. I don’t know, didn’t really ask details because quite frankly didn’t really care. We are still good friends though and every now and then he will call or text me to complain or ask for advice (as if I’m the best person to be giving out relationship advice!). Any who, I always gave unbiased advice (I didn’t want him)but they still ended up breaking up, too bad she was already knocked up.

Recently he began hinting he may want to try something put with me. I downplay it each and every time. I’m honestly not attracted to him anymore, and he doesn’t look the same. He was the star basketball player in high school and was around 6’6, super cute back then.  I didn’t do anything spectacular in high school, just a few randoms, but I was popular for some reason and that made us the ideal and “what’s in” couple. That lasted till I got to college. Eden was on my heels heavy but I was “in love”. I lost my virginity my first year of college, but we didn’t last too long after that and a year later I was with Eden.

I said all that to say that High School Boyfriend texted me last night while I was at the circus. I hadn’t heard from him in a while and thought he had gotten the point.

HSB: hey Jaycee, sorry I haven’t been in contact, I have been sick

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo?????? Was what I wanted to say, but I played nice.

Me: Awww sorry to hear that

HSB: I was like I’m slacking I haven’t talked to my future wife.

And it begins. I realize I’m too nice, but I definitely don’t lead people on, they just run with stuff.

Me: Well I’m at the circus, and it’s ok, I hadn’t noticed honestly.

I cut it short after that. Can’t entertain foolishness. If I actually liked him I wouldn’t mind, but like I said I wasn’t into him AND he had a newborn! A newborn he was dying for me to meet. When he had first told me that, I forgot about being nice and said “For what, I don’t need to meet him” not the nicest thing to say to someone who just had their 1^st child.

I tried to clean it up and say, “You know his mom probably wouldn’t like that, that’s all, I wouldn’t want to cause issues with you two”. He accepted that but he knew I meant it a little. But I DIDN’T want to meet the baby!

Luckily, he asked a few more questions about the circus and let me be for the night, but of course, he would be back! I loved our friendship and I told him that, but a relationship? You guys know I’m not ready or cut out for that at all these days.

I snapped back into my work. Hopefully the rest of my day would be okay or at least something interesting happen, like a job offer maybe! Wishful thinking! The first thing I would do is tell that supervisor of mines to kiss it………………. my buttocks that is! lol