No Good Deed

I get so sidetracked I forget that I haven’t written. I’m like well they won’t care about this, or this probably isn’t important, or who wants to read about that. However, screw it!

I want a freaking round of applause because I have successfully igged Eden for 2 weeks now; his latest attempt was sending me a picture of Angry Orchard Apple Cider beer, because when we were in D.C I mentioned it was my newfound fave. But eff you sending me a picture of it for? I’m fully aware of what it looks like. I’m so glad I recognized my worth and realized playing the waiting game under the main chick is NOT cute! And we MUST be cute at all times ladies.

Deacon sung a solo in church Sunday and kept reminding me about it. I would have did the opposite I’m so shy it’s redic, but he actually sounded good, go figure, maybe he can sing at our wedding! lol Anyway after church he texted me like where are we eating? We ended up at a restaurant and THEE WORST THING EVER HAPPENED! I sit down and he has this thing where he sits beside me instead of across from me. I USED to think it was cute, not today though. So clearly we are on a date. Now mind you I never announced my divorce to anyone, only my immediate family and friends know…… am I suppose too? Do I make a facebook status an say: Hey guys I’m single now, kicked Cam to the curb, holla at me!

Deacon says its not people business and I don’t have to say a thing. But this is why I wish I had said SOMETHING.

So I’m sitting there and I hear my manager’s voice, same manager that just went on and on about my husband the week before. I never corrected her because I’m like for what? She can call him whatever she wants, bothers me none. But now she’s sitting across from me and notices me and Deacon and I realize she must be thinking “That’s totally not the husband I have seen in the past!”

Now I never see my co-workers when I’m out….. ever! Now all of a sudden when I don’t want to be seen I’m seen in all my glory.

“Speak!” Deacon nudged me after I filled him in.

“No!” I hid behind him.

“You are making yourself look sneaky, just speak” he laughed “I figured that had to be someone you knew because she was definitely staring….. makes perfect sense now!” he chomped on shrimp, while I sat there panicking.

This looked so effing tacky. I looked like a cheater and I totally wasn’t out cheating on my ex-husband. We carried on with our conversation and eventually my manager went to leave and I rushed to speak and introduced her to “my friend”. Yep still seemed shady but at least I didn’t appear to be hiding anymore!

I was relieved when they left. We ended up at the movies that night to see “No Good Deed”. Idris is a freaking sexy man and I don’t even like dark chocolate but my God. Okay anyway after the movie Deacon is talking about the weather, so I asked what it was going to be for Monday.

“Don’t you have a phone? Look it up” he smirked. I thought he was joking but this negro really didn’t tell me. It was silent the rest of the ride and I was pissed. This morning he asked what was wrong and I told him that was a bit rude, then the silent treatment was a bit rude.

Deacon: I can totally see how you took it, honestly, I was half sleep, but I was joking about the weather. I apologize, it won’t happen again. I have some ways but nothing I wouldn’t change if it upsets you.

Hmmmm, that was too easy. Deacon was going on my suspect list.

 I called up Derik and vented about it. Derik is the one I should’ve married, remember him? We chat here and there and totally say “I love you’s” when we hang up. But that’s all it’s ever been, we have never had sex or anything. I’m curious as crap though and he has been talking about visiting this month.

“So why were you driving babe, he couldn’t pick you up?” Derik grimaced when I told him why Deacon was allowed to have been half asleep, I could tell how he looked thru the phone.

“I only drove to the movies, not the dinner, my gas light was on so I offered cause I hate pumping gas, you know that” I explained.

“Oh ok, so he went with you to get gas, did he pay for it?” Derik asked.

“Why would he, it’s my car, I paid!” I said knowing what he was getting at.

“You know I would have paid for it, you never had to do anything with your car when I was around, that’s man’s work” Derik bragged.

But he had, oil changes, gas, tires, anything my car needed he had taken care of. Deacon had made a similar statement when we first begain talking, but he didn’t pay for my gas. Shut up Jaycee that’s not a deal breaker, he doesn’t drive the car.

“Yes I know you would have, anyway, then he talked about my hair and my curls are cute Derik, and the way I dress, he said I put more effort when I’m with my friends and come around him looking any kind of way. I had on a sundress and sandals Derik, I really thought I looked cute!” I whined. He had really effed up my self esteem. Smart  mouth and all I was still sensitive as crap.

“I’m sure you did baby” Derik was not helping he was just going to pacify me, because that is what Jaycee wanted to hear. Derik got blunt with me at times too though, so he wasn’t my butt kisser by far. He likes my hair curly so he could “pull on it”. Even though his scary tail never had lol. Ughhh, I switched the topic to him visiting and by then it was after midnight. I fell asleep in mid-sentence and Derik laughed telling me goodnight.

Deacon always analyzed me, so now I’m super self-conscious of how I look, I feel like I need to make an appointment to get my hair straightened because obviously my natural curls are a bit too much for him.

*looks online at open appointment slots*

He’s good on paper tho, but so is Derik, honestly I like Derik better but he’s in another city. But we are like 8 years and counting so I know it’s not physical, we really got to know each other. I’m surprised he’s still single. I’m rambling I know.

Cam got Baby boy the weekend again, and him and my Dad took him shopping. That impressed me, but that arrangement is working out. Cam is obsessed with finding out if I moved, which I did, but I won’t tell him that. It is not his business.

I don’t want anyone to think I’m looking for love again because I’m not, just looking for that person that gives me the same feeling I get on a Friday when I know I’m about to get paid!