Bang Bang

TMI, but I am having the time of my life effing Deacon! Yup its official, we have banged every night since my last post and its only gotten better with time, last night being the best. My mom came over and stayed with Baby Boy and Deacon came to pick me up for a date. He had this grand idea to try a place an hour away. I had never been so I was down for the cause.

I pulled up some white True Religion jeans, open toe heels, and a loose denim top. I got a chucky statement necklace with colors and my hair was bone straight. I was trying to steer way from my typical flats an whatever attire. On the way up we had decided we needed to have a talk about us and what we were doing. He basically stated he had told me before what he wanted and that was for me to be his lady. I knew I wasn’t ready for that so honestly I never addressed it. I had to cut off my other hoes off first. If I was going to try something real I wanted to go into it with a clean state for once. Not all my old hoes popping in and out at their leisure.

“Well when you let me know you are ready to take this to the next level, just know Im here and willing Jaycee, I’m clear on what I want with you and from you” he had said and my panties got moist. Yasssss to a grown man for once. He also added “Y’all ladies always ask for a good man though and then when you get one you don’t know what to do with him!”.

That was correct I was lost as crap. After dinner I had fell asleep in the car on the ride back after telling him I would stay at his place. I hadn’t been back to his house since I had moved. He had been staying with me at my townhouse all week. I ran into a million walls on my way thru his garage and into the house because I refused to open my eyes and walk to see where I was going. I went to the bed and stripped to my shirt and undies. I was sleep in no time.

Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up and I was soaked. I felt Deacon’s hand fondling my private and I moaned. He slid my undies off and I heard him unwrap a condom in the dark. I was laying on my stomach and as he got back in bed I felt him slide into me from behind. I gasp and grinding back into him. I don’t know if it was the sex, me being half sleep, or what but it felt like heaven. We both started to move in sync as close as we could get. My body started shaking and I felt him sum and roll to my side. I couldn’t even move, but my body didn’t have a problem doing that on its own apparently. The next 10 minutes were spent with my body spasms every other second. Deacon loved it. I feel back to sleep soon after that an he took me home a few hours later to get ready for work on Saturday.

Cam had hit me up and asked could we hang out. Something told me to be blunt but I thought he meant with Baby Boy at first, but he just meant with us and asked could we have sex from time to time. While Cam’s sex was ideal, us together wasn’t by far. When I tried to tell him, I was seeing someone he blew up!

“You know what I always play myself with you, you are moving on while I’m holding on. I can’t stay here with your Dad and not be with you. I am going to leave here soon,” he ranted.

Leave? And do what? Go back down south and be a bum?

“So you would quit your only means of taking care of your children just because I don’t want to be with you? That’s selfish, you are making it seem like I have to eff you in order for you to be a father! Where you are now you can provide and see him on a normal basis and you want to throw that away?” I was pissed to the highest level of pisstivity.

“Well when you divorce someone Jaycee this is the kind of things that happens, I can’t teach and show him how to treat a women if you won’t give me a chance or us a chance to be together and around him, you just want to throw everything away…… didn’t know it was that easy” the looney went on.

“Cam I threw it away when I divorced you, and you gave me reasons to divorce you” I was trying to calm myself down.

“It’s your fault all this happened, you made me file for visitation to see my other son, she filed for child support, and that ended up making me lose my job for non-payment. I didn’t all that to prove my love to you and you don’t even care! Who’s the guy, is it Eden, Derik…… who Jaycee, just answer that!” he fussed and carried on.

“It’s not my fault you were not handling your responsibilities, and now that you have the opportunity too once again you want to be irresponsible, just stop talking to me please” I sighed.

He sent a few texts after that but I’m so over it. He always finds a way to let me know I made the perfect decision for me and my son. He had sent me daycare money the day before but now I saw that was only because he thought I would meet up with him, effing jerk.