Lets discuss Deacon......

Either I'm making Deacom seem like a azzhole or he really is one, so here goes.

Deacon is 7 years older then me, but sometimes I feel like his bickering habits are a bit mundane and unecessary. He's super sweet and thoughtful. I never have to worry about if I'll hear from him, even when I do worry, it turns out I shouldnt have been. He without a doubt is going to hit me up and check on me no matter what.

On my end I can admit I do some childish ish, but I dont know if its really THAT childish or if he's just THAT old.

When I first moved he came over and changed all my locks (because you never know). He figured it was safer, because the way my locks were set up someone could easily just break my window and unlock the door. I have steps now so he bought over a baby gate to install for Baby Boy so he would be safer. He will has stayed there almost every night, because he knows I feel weird about being alone in there sometimes. He makes me try new things, instead of the regular basic crap I'm use to. so usually when we go out its somewhere I've never been before. We do regular things to, like the movies or just chilling inside but its always nice kicking it with him.

Our conversation is ALWAYS top notch, somehow we feed off of each other. So he knows alot about me already and vice versa. I've yet to meet a guy that actually enjoys texting or emailing ALL day, but Deacon literally talks to me ALL day everyday thru my workday. In detail too. We do this cute question and answer thing, which is probably how we learned alot about each other too. Or we talk about disagreements we may have had. We always hash out the negatives.

He's cool with my family too, but they dont know anything is up at all. Just that we are friends, and thats basically because we dont even know whats up yet, just learning each other. He tells me I'm beautiful and sexy, and all of the nice things that ladies like to hear every now and then, but he compliments me daily. Definitely good for my ego.

Idk maybe Deacon just SAYS all the right things, but he has me open. I like him, but it isn't ALL good by far. Like I said we bicker ALOT, about the smallest, dumbest ish. And that irks me the most. I told him his attitude is like his way or the highway if someone doesn't think how he does, and he admitted he never looked at it that way and would work on it. he's always open to working on anything I have a problem with, once I explain to him why I see it as one. Usually he agrees with me, because I say things that are fair.

Another thing is because of his status we can't really be all out in the open, so I feel like I'm sneaking sometimes. People at my church still think I'm married, so what would they think seeing us together? I dont know why they think that because Cam hasnt been around in ages, but they have no reason not to either. I understand his role, but you are still sinning, we fornicate, sooooooooo yeah dont be a undercover Christian it is what it is! I realize he's human though, noone is perfect, not even Pastors! and I love our sex life so I'm definitely not complaining about that ;)

We have agreed to take it slow though, he thinks I still have feelings for Cam, since I discuss him so much. But I discuss him out of pure frustration, if I wanted Cam I'd have him.

So is Deacon a azzhole? lol I think he's just regular, I shouldnt compare him to Cam but for the cause I'm about too.

Cam was CONSTANT drama, we argued all the time and never compromised. We never really went on dates after a while and if so he couldnt make a decision without me holding his hand. He was a know it all and that was that. He was sneaky, he talked to other females. If we were talking all day while I worked then it was definitely us arguing all day. it was just a headache. Financially I couldn't plan things with Cam because I would be the one footing the bill.

So I think I'm just glad to have something different for once. Someone who can treat me, and tell me they planned something for me, or its a surprise I'll see when I get there. Or to wash my car with ym son when its dirty, and genuinely care about getting to know him. Or to send me flowers thru text since i think real ones are a waste of money. Or to kiss me just because and break me out of my shells. Or to pray with me when I'm troubled, or give me non biased advice.

Idk..................... I like him!