Confusions Finest

I’m sad L

Deacon is avoiding me, of course I’m exaggerating, but maybe I’m not!

So Saturday when he came over he expressed to me that he was probably setting a bad example. I laid there confused I was horny, let’s make an example out of that! But he went on and said his role in the church and what we were doing didn’t match up. Yet we did it right after that………….. exactly.

So Sunday I avoided him at church, he kept trying to make eye contact but this whole “thing” we were doing was so confusing I had no clue how to act and when anymore. I realized I was officially “in my feelings”. I liked him, a lot, like to the point where my thoughts were consumed of him. To the point of Eden who? That was a big deal within itself. We know how I am about Eden, or was.

So after church Sunday he didn’t invite me out to lunch like he normally had been doing but I totally figured it was because Baby Boy had stayed home this weekend and I had him, so no biggie. I went to my moms and was in and out of sleep for 3 hours. It had been a long week, I was exhausted. I texted Deacon though and admitted to him and myself how I was feeling.

Me: Remember what I said about not wasting each other’s time if we don’t see this going anywhere? Well I see it and I want to move forward….. if you are still interested that is.

D: We will talk face to face

Me: I hate when you do that and I don’t know when I will see you face to face.

That was a trick statement by the way. I see him every day so I SHOULD have known, but like I said he was being weird. He totally failed though.

D: Like I said face to face.

That had been around 5’ish and by 9 after I had got me and Baby Boy settled and was in bed myself I still hadn’t heard anything from him.

Me: Good night

No response, then a whole hour later he replies.

D: Ok, Goodnight to you as well

What the eff? I thought about this and a week ago this would not have bothered me at all, but because I was actually considering being exclusive, I was pissed off. But I controlled myself and didn’t respond. Now here it is Monday morning and he ALWAYS texts me Good morning or SOMETHING and my phone is just as dry as ever! Bastard.

I came into work for like a hour to clear some things and then I’m heading to see Kendall. She had surgery last week and I have been THEE worst cousin ever. When I was in the hospital she was there and stayed long as she could, well technically no that wasn’t her, she came once, Tay was the one that came every day. I’m so tit for tat, childish. However, I did go see her Saturday, and I’m going to head over there in a few and spend a few hours with her. But I know my friends are annoyed cause all I want to talk about lately is you know who.

Speaking of, while I was writing this he finally decided to show up and text me.

D: Don’t know if you are awake or still dreaming about me but Good morning.

Jerk!

It’s actually probable that I’m making this so much more than it really is, but when I fall I fall hard and his azz better catch me since he’s the one that tripped me up!