I’m sad L
Deacon is avoiding me, of course I’m exaggerating, but maybe
I’m not!
So Saturday when he came over he expressed to me that he was
probably setting a bad example. I laid there confused I was horny, let’s make
an example out of that! But he went on and said his role in the church and what
we were doing didn’t match up. Yet we did it right after that………….. exactly.
So Sunday I avoided him at church, he kept trying to make
eye contact but this whole “thing” we were doing was so confusing I had no clue
how to act and when anymore. I realized I was officially “in my feelings”. I
liked him, a lot, like to the point where my thoughts were consumed of him. To
the point of Eden who? That was a big deal within itself. We know how I am
about Eden, or was.
So after church Sunday he didn’t invite me out to lunch like
he normally had been doing but I totally figured it was because Baby Boy had
stayed home this weekend and I had him, so no biggie. I went to my moms and was
in and out of sleep for 3 hours. It had been a long week, I was exhausted. I
texted Deacon though and admitted to him and myself how I was feeling.
Me: Remember what I said about not wasting each other’s time
if we don’t see this going anywhere? Well I see it and I want to move forward…..
if you are still interested that is.
D: We will talk face to face
Me: I hate when you do that and I don’t know when I will see
you face to face.
That was a trick statement by the way. I see him every day
so I SHOULD have known, but like I said he was being weird. He totally failed
though.
D: Like I said face to face.
That had been around 5’ish and by 9 after I had got me and
Baby Boy settled and was in bed myself I still hadn’t heard anything from him.
Me: Good night
No response, then a whole hour later he replies.
D: Ok, Goodnight to you as well
What the eff? I thought about this and a week ago this would
not have bothered me at all, but because I was actually considering being exclusive,
I was pissed off. But I controlled myself and didn’t respond. Now here it is
Monday morning and he ALWAYS texts me Good morning or SOMETHING and my phone is
just as dry as ever! Bastard.
I came into work for like a hour to clear some things and
then I’m heading to see Kendall. She had surgery last week and I have been THEE
worst cousin ever. When I was in the hospital she was there and stayed long as
she could, well technically no that wasn’t her, she came once, Tay was the one
that came every day. I’m so tit for tat, childish. However, I did go see her
Saturday, and I’m going to head over there in a few and spend a few hours with
her. But I know my friends are annoyed cause all I want to talk about lately is
you know who.
Speaking of, while I was writing this he finally decided to
show up and text me.
D: Don’t know if you are awake or still dreaming about me
but Good morning.
Jerk!
It’s actually probable that I’m making this so much more than
it really is, but when I fall I fall hard and his azz better catch me since he’s
the one that tripped me up!
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