The End of Eden Part 3

Sunday was hard. We all lounged around the room and finally left out around 10 to get food. We spent the day touring D.C and snapping flicks in front of statues, until it was time for Eden to leave. I hated hated hated that I did this to myself, because it was like one big lie. Like why did we even do this crap and why did my son like him? I was mad. I was SUCH a girl at times and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why.

It was bittersweet and we hit the road. We were meeting Dani and her family at a resort before heading home, since I was still off until Tuesday. We were stuck in traffic most of the trip and we got there and Kendall pulled up at the same time. We spent the afternoon at the pool and then had dinner. The rest of the night was spent laughing and joking around and me texting Eden of course.

“Did y’all have sex?” Dani asked, and Kendall smirked. She wasn’t too keen on Eden, The feeling was mutual they didn’t care for each other.

“Every day and twice on Sunday” I laughed.

“I guess I’m going to have to learn to like him if this gets serious” Kendall complained.

“It won’t, I’m not going to be naïve this go round, he lives with her, it was just a weekend, I’m aware of that and I’m accepting it” I said more so trying to convince myself.

They sensed my hesitation and we changed the subject.

On Monday after we ate and saw most of her family off me and Dani literally slept the day away with the kids. She was leaving that afternoon and I headed to an amusement park to meet Tish and her god kids. We spent the remainder of the day there and Baby Boy was knocked out by the time we made it back home. He had had an eventful weekend for a 2 year old, so I know he was exhausted because I was wore the eff out!

Its Tuesday morning now, I don’t know when this will post but I’ve been whining to Eden all morning about how this can’t go on. I can’t be his friend, while he figures out everything, it’s just too much and I’m still emotionally invested. He agreed but he isn’t saying anything to make it easier just the typical “You aren’t second….. I’ll always love you…. I need you in my life”. Ugh!

I was in the middle of texting him back when a text from Mark came thru asking what was up. Usually I would have been hype to hear from him, but I was back on the Eden bandwagon, noone could pull me off.

Friday's here and I still have it bad. I've even reconsidered Baby Boy being an only child. I'm thinking maybe me and Eden can make one while we are doing whatever it is we are doing. I actually wouldn't mind having his baby. He doesnt have any and I KNOW he's superb with kids. He's financially stable, btu hes in NY. On the flip side I COULD go to NY, we'd have to be married of course, but it could work. I'm being delusional right? Prob so, but what do you do when your soulmate is found but you are both in different points of life. I could let it go and see what happens, or I could make a move, and not let him get away this go round.

When I suggested making a baby he immediately texted me back.

Eden: Que sera, sara

This negro doesnt speak a lick of Spanish, he thinks because he is a NY native he's bilingual. I asked my coworker what that means because she's  actually from Puerto Rico and Spanish is her first language.

"It's like if you are having a baby, someone might ask that, and they would be asking what is it? she replied. That didn't make sense and I told him so.

Eden: She's dumb, it's means "Whatever will be, will be"

I didn't know who was right or who was wrong, but Eden's response made more sense so I went with that.

I've been in fantasy land all week, looking at pictures from our weekend, flirting with him, and then his corny tail had the audacity to send me a goodnight poem last night. I would post it but, eff it I'll share it. I had told him "Goodnight" around 9'ish and he never responded before I went to sleep. So this morning I woke up and saw he had responded close to 11 p.m.

Eden: As I lay here to sleep I have thoughts of someone far away. Holding them close to my heart so the pain will go away. We smile but so far away how to see it until I dream. Wish I was a great eagle so I could soar upon the breeze and land close to her side. The nights would be filled with joy as we walked side by side talking  about life as I gaze into her eyes. Through her eyes I see the scars someone left behind which only can be healed by time. We can dance the night away if we were side by side, but I can only dream of this enchanted angel that is so far away. Goodnight house of Kutie!

The last line is because of how I answered every single call in college. I would pick up all sweetly and say "House of Beauty, this is cutie!" lol EVERYONE hated it but it was so funny to me, so childish for a 21 year old but hey I was immature at that age anyway.

Anywho, I know that is someone's song or poem he recycled but it still has to smiling even now.
I LOVE HIM! What do yall think? Do I seem genuine, or like I'm going thru a phase or what? I act on impulse so I don't want to assume I'm being rational if I'm not. I'd love to hear opinions and what you all think of the whole situation over all, and what my next move should be.

Love....... The hopeless romantic named Jaycee