All I need in this life of sin..... is me and my boyfriend

Hey y’all!

I’m fresh back to work from a trip with the boyfriend. Yup, boyfriend lol

Let’s start from where I left you all since it’s been a while, I didn’t think anyone was keeping up, my life’s been a little “regular” compared to how it was so I had fell back from the blog.

Eden has been on a mission to get me to respond, and I can honestly say I have no desire to whatsoever. He even went as far as to call my friend Tish, he thinks she’s his plug. So, this week I finally came up with a plan. If I respond to Eden and tell him to “f#@k off” he will only go harder. It’s like some of turn on for him. But, if I got Tish to hit him up and make him think she was telling him a secret, he would be too prideful to contact me. So that’s the option I went with. I got Tish to text him and simply say “Jace has a boyfriend and they are getting pretty serious, but that’s between me and you.”

Eden: Oh aight, figured something was up. But she can at least say what’s up, but whatever.

Tish: True, guess she’s still upset about your whole situation. They are on vacation too now so maybe that’s why.

Eden: Fuck it….. I miss her and Baby Bo, long as she good its all good, wish her nothing but the best. I’ll fall back. Much success to her and good luck!

Now THAT was a bit much, but I haven’t heard from him so maybe that was the nail in the coffin, this just happened yesterday though so I won’t do somersaults. It’s not that I don’t miss Eden terribly, I DO! I love him, but it’s so unhealthy and unrealistic to think that something will ever come of us. I love the life I use to have with Eden and that’s just not us anymore, so I have to wear my big girl pants and let it go.

Enough of that. Deacon was going on a freaking 7 day trip to visit his family. I wasn’t pissed, but I was so used to being around him I didn’t know what to do or what I’d do for 7 darn days without him. He was leaving that Wednesday and the weekend before was Kendall’s birthday so that’s why every night after I had went to him. Monday came and he came over too and we boo loved, and I assumed Tuesday would be the same way, since he was departing the next morning. He had opted to drive and it would take a full day. Who does that? Anywho he texted me Tuesday night and it went something like this:

Deacon: Finally home just finished packing. How are you feeling?

Me: I feel fine, we went to the park earlier, stayed out later with Baby Boy then I planned to. Are you excited? I always get excited before a trip!

Deacon: I am so sleepy I’m actually afraid. Lol

Me: You didn’t even come tell me bye L

Deacon: come on you know my time has been tight today

Me: Yeah, no you are fine, I know today was busy for ya. Have a safe trip I’ll try to entertain you during the ride and I’ll miss you lots!

Deacon: I’m sad because I don’t get to see you before I leave.

Me: Come over

Deacon: Way too tired. I’m laying in bed.

Now I was pissed. Like why even bring it up, I ignored all texts with him for the rest of the night, if you are so tired carry your tail to sleep, you don’t need to be up texting me, right?

The next day was strained with us. He knew I was upset and I did too. But when I asked my friends they all agreed I was being the petty one.

“He has a full day of driving Jaycee, that’s understandable if he was tired” one of my cousins had said.

“Shut up, he lives 5 minutes away from me, the time it took him to keep texting me he could’ve been there, he’s leaving for a effing week, I’m not wrong for being mad” I argued.

After the third person disagreed with me I apologized to Deacon, he was still a little nippy that it took that much but eventually we got over it. I was joking later that evening as we talked.

“I should fly out next week and spend the day in the city and ride back with you, I’m due for a getaway,” I laughed. I really was off that Monday and he was coming back Tuesday, but it was already Wednesday a flight would be sky high.

“That’s not a bad idea, look up the flights, I’ll go half with you and I’ll get the hotel, we can spend the day like you said and leave out the next day.

Long story short that Monday I was boarding the plane. Baby Boy was all squared away with my mom and I had taken Tuesday off. I was SO excited to see my babe. We had been having good convo the whole time he had been gone and I truly missed him. We spent the day in the city as planned, but were in unusually early, I think we were both exhausted. Tuesday was the day that I think meant the most. Spending a day in a car with someone can go really good or really bad. Ours was really good. We talked the ENTIRE ride. Like about everything, things we needed clarified with each other, things we liked and disliked, the future, our expectations, it was just a great experience. We stopped for dinner an hour away from home and I was surprised I hadn’t drifted off to sleep all day. By the end of the ride I realized I did in fact have a boyfriend that adored me and pretty much would do anything he could to see me happy. But he wasn’t going to let me walk over him, which was good. I could live with that, no one likes a push over.

One of my issues with Deacon had been how nonchalant he is, I was use to insecure Cam and he was the direct opposite. Therefore, to me it came across, as he just didn’t care. I know how guys hit me up on the regular even with all my baggage. Deacon had NO baggage, no kids, no nothing just a bunch of pluses so I know he had a little hotline. Maybe I was the insecure one?

“Jaycee, I can’t keep you from cheating, if you are going to fuck around, its nothing I can do to stop you, just know eventually I’ll find out and you will have to see if it was worth it. Just like with me you are my 80%, I’m not gonna risk that for a 20%. I’m gonna show you this and I hadn’t planned on it, but I need you to know how much I care and am in this with you” he pulled out his phone and proceeded to show me these pictures some girl had sent back to back. Just all different poses, I was getting annoyed. Who the eff was this wench? He last picture had the caption “Are you ignoring me?” Deacon had replied.

Deacon: I was out riding my bike with my lady.

Tramp: Oh okay well hit me when time permits.

Deacon: Yeah I prob won’t. It would be disrespectful to my relationship to do that when I know what it entails.

Tramp: You cant call me anymore? We can still talk, we are friends right?

Deacon: I just love my lady and I know how she feels about me, so at this point I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that or create drama, we are in a good place.

Tramp: You are still full of yourself

Deacon: I’m full of myself because I checked you? Because I don’t want to participate in anything that could hinder what I have going on? Okay

There was more but honestly, I had stopped reading after the “I love my lady” part. I wouldn’t have believed any of this had I not saw it, and no I don’t think Deacon was head over heels in love with me, I think he cared deeply. The point is I appreciated the gesture of it all, this had happened a week or so ago and I would have never known and he didn’t have to prove anything to me but he had. I definitely couldn’t go in my phone and whip out a conversation like that. Only my proof that I ignored Eden regularly, which didn’t count for jack, just showed my weakness that I couldn’t communicate with him.

Long story short, I’m going to try this thing with deacon, I’m serious about him and I want to see where it goes. Let’s just hope this is the best move for me, cause I feel overjoyed about it!