I decided to do some answers in a posting, just in case
people do not read the comments.
No, I never told Eden the truth, and no I don’t plan on it. It
is done, I did it, can’t say I regret it though. I’m up and down about it, all
those times he was a jerk, karma has come back around, but that’s also means it’s
going to pay me a visit as well.
Like my period being late, should have been here yesterday
and I’m not panicking…….. yes I am!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like this is a test. If I do not tell him, I’m going
to be pregnant and if I do I won’t be. I sound silly I know but this is how my
mind operates.
I think you all forget too I am human. Of course it’s great
to always do what’s right, but we usually don’t. I am not perfect, I get myself
into the dumbest things and I have no excuse for that. I can only promise you
that I am being honest with you and I don’t mind the comments, I actually like
to hear the positive and negative. Cause that is real!
I did get my key back from Deacon, he didn’t want to give it
back! But I told him this was too much too soon and we needed to backtrack. He
wasn’t feeling that, I also told him he can’t be there every night. I need time
like someone said to get my affairs in order. Literally my AFFAIRS! Last night Deacon
and me went to Bible study and then a place I wanted to try for dinner, and
while it was nice, there is something missing. It’s so new that I don’t know if
I have always felt this way or if Cam is clouding my judgment.
My friends aren’t 50/50 but they have all expressed whatever
I decide they will back me either way. I hate that, don’t tell me what I want
to here, that’s why I like this blog, tell me when I’m being dumb!
*Sigh* it is hard to be honest on here, because at first I
wasn’t going to mention the Eden thing because I KNEW the backlash that would
occur, so just know its not easy baring your soul.
I’m not going to say what everyone wants to hear just for
the sake of being likeable. I like Cam, and I like Deacon, that’s the truth.
Cam is doing major changes, and I think that’s why it’s important to be single
after break ups and not rush into anything. I explained to Deacon that I think
we are moving excessively fast. I probably should have kept at it and told him
how I felt but I just can’t hurt people’s feelings. I feel awful. I do know,
eventually someone will get hurt, so I have to do something and quick.
Other than this guy drama, I’m prepping for a girls night tomorrow
with Kendall and some friends from high school. Baby Boy is going with Cam for
the weekend so I get a little break. He’s doing awesome and even learning sign
language. I have a baby genius on my hands.
So sorry if this isn’t what anyone wanted to hear, but I
have yet to do anything positive in these situations….. sue me!
I read in the comments that Eden sent you the money for an abortion. I understand that you tell justified and won't come clean. However what you did was completely wrong. We all make mistakes but it seems like you enjoy all this drama. want cam being difficult about child support last week? How much could he have changed since then? Deacon really liked you and it sucks that it seems like you're playing him.
ReplyDeleteWhile I can see Anonymous 1's point, I don't really think that she is playing him. She admits that she is torn between Cam and Deacon (maybe due to past history with Cam?), and that she needs to make a decision soon.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to tell both Deacon and Cam to chill out and give you space. Try actually being single for a while. Maybe being single without distractions (a.k.a boys) will help you get some clarity.
As for the Eden situation... Yeah, I'm not sure about that whole thing. All I can say is that to me, it isn't morally right to do that.
Hope you get your feelings and all sorted out soon! Best of luck
- Lee
Thank you Lee! I never debated anything I did was right, I was just being honest and admitting i dont know what the heck TO actually do or which direction to go. I agree, I regret even getting into this situation with Eden, I acted on impulse, but I'm letting that die out, Ill just be morally wrong on that one.
DeleteAnd yes the whole Cam thing HAS to be due to history, yes we argue but who doesnt, and yes we were fighting about child support, but we worked it all out and came to an agreement so it hasnt been an issue. Its still new tho. Like I said I wont dump Deacon because Cam has been on good behavior for a few weeks either.