Happy Birthday to Taye!! This weekend was my BFF’s birthday
weekend and it was FREEZING! I knew she had a weekend planned, so I prepped
Deacon ahead of time to let him know I would be booked basically after Friday.
I did not expect him to understand because he is SOOOOO mature and doesn’t understand
who still celebrates birthdays the way me and my friends do at our age.
Any who my plans were halted when Baby Boy got sick, I got
him the flu shot, well the nasal spray flu thingy and it triggered a fever. My
mom suggested she keep him because he was already over there and she considered
it too cold to take him outside. LOL! She just wanted to keep him I’m sure. But
it was already planned that Cam would get him for the weekend. I thought he
would fuss but instead he accommodated us all and volunteered to come to us to
see Baby Boy that way he still could stay local.
So, I’m getting off track, Friday I suggested to Deacon that
we should hang since that’s the ONLY day Taye didn’t have something scheduled.
We went to a seafood restaurant and it was delicious. He was catching a cold so
his throat was sore so he asked for hot tea and spiked it with gin. While he
was drinking it he goes “I’m so glad I’ll be starting a new job and can drink
again, I use to be an alcoholic” Wait….. what? You tell me this as you order
round after round of shots. I asked for the check and I drove us to the next
destination after quizzing him about his latest confession. He kept shrugging
it off so I don’t know if he was serious or joking but sheesh! We ended up at a
bowling alley, where I demolished him in strikes and then we called it a night
because I was working overtime the next morning. He told me since I had plans
he was going to head to the country to visit family. Perfect. Or so I thought.
The next day I went to work and then to hang with Baby Boy
at my moms. But, he was sleep, I went to Taye’s place a little early to help
set up for her get together. Overall, it was okay, she ended up getting pretty
hammered and annoying so I left and decided to call it a night. Deacon was
nowhere to be found. He claimed “Bad reception out here in the country”. Did I
trip on that? No, not a big deal. The next day I went to church and he was
absent, I texted him and he said he was home cooking with a headache. I asked
him specifically did he want me to come over after service and he said “Not
unless you want to get sick”. I certainly did not so I spent the afternoon with
my sick kid again until it was time for Taye’s birthday dinner. I texted Deacon
a few times but he didn’t reply to anything, I figured he was sleeping.
When that psycho woke up he went off! Saying how I’m supposed
to be his girlfriend and I should have canceled my plans if I knew he needed
me, and he would have done that for me.
First things first you have a cold NOT Ebola for heaven’s
sake. Secondly I asked and you told me no, and third my kid was sick too so
sorry you are not my first priority. I told him I could run to get him anything
but he wanted to continue with his temper tantrum and I did not have time for
that. Taye’s dinner had been a good time with good friends and he was ruining
my Sunday vibe. Therefore, I said good night and let him be. I did text his
this morning, he decided to stay petty and be short with me so that’s fine too.
I told my older cousin about it this morning and she thinks he’s
a subtle control freak. The type that slowly pulls you away from friends and doesn’t
want you doing anything without him. That sounds like the old Cam! And I’m not
here for that. Sucks for Deacon though because this time I did NOTHING wrong,
in my eyes at least and I’m not kissing your tail over a cold. So be mad! This
relationship is starting to feel like a part time job. He thinks because he was
his life in order I should basically worship him. I can appreciate you being
successful but your attitude sucks at times.
Other than that all is well. Baby Boy is doing better, I
really think the flu shot just caused a temperature. Works fine, I am applying
for promotions, and the holidays are approaching! Me and Cam have been getting
along and I have no complaints honestly……… so that’s a blessing!
Alright, i went through your whole blog now. Hopefully you will post again soon.
ReplyDeleteHere are my thoughts. You are doing very well with the spelling & grammar. It is almost like night & day from your first posts and your last blog. I also don't slow down when writing posts so i started putting them in drafts and re-reading them. It helps immensely. I can go back and look at them an hour later (or day later). Some i leave in drafts and rewrite. Anyways, good on you.
Second, you keep saying you are human and make mistakes. Yes you are human, but supposed to learn from them. You don't seem to learn your lessons and want to keep making the mistakes over and over because that is the easiest route. Mistakes are only mistakes the first time, after that they are habits.
I am not going to get into the Eden thing because you beat that horse dead, but you probably should cut him from your life completely. You have no respect at all for him and you can't even have a friendship without respect.
It doesn't matter if Cam is changing, you got divorced for a reason. That was not good enough for him to want to change. You did not know him well when you married him. He needs to be your baby daddy (even though you hate that term) and that is it, nothing more, nothing less. Do not talk to him about anything except about your baby boy and you will find your feelings are not real. An hour away is not far at all, that is no reason what so ever to stay there. You stayed there because you wanted to sleep with him, no matter your protests. The city is an hour from my house and not once have i ever thought i had to stay over because an hour was too far to drive. 4-5 hours i can see, but not an hour.
As for Deacon, you don't respect him either. If you cared for him in the slightest you would not have jumped into another man's arms the second you were not getting what you want. Would you put up with that? Not a chance. Let him go. Just because he believes in ghosts and the supernatural world doesn't mean he is crazy. How many people think Christians are crazy?? Having different beliefs don't mean squat but not respecting those beliefs does. Remember the guy who you thought was atheist so that was a deal breaker for you??
Don't be a hypocrite Jaycee, you know you are beautiful, have a lot to offer, have an education etc etc etc but you are EXTREMELY needy (so am i, no judgement on that, but i don't wanna run to another man if i am not getting what i want/need from my husband, i call my mom lol). You need, want, crave that attention. You don't want someone to cling to you but you want them there telling you what you want to hear when you are ready to hear it. I don't think your a horrible person by any means. I think you need a break and figure out what you want out of life. You are not happy and you need to get happy again. Drop the men. Drop them all. Delete from your phone, IG, FB, twitter, everything. You will be amazed at how much self worth you get back. You may have confidence but it doesn't seem like you have any self worth at all.
Your not a tramp, you don't have high numbers (i wouldn't care if you did anyways) but the way you bounce back and forth between whomever is giving what you want that day is what tells me you are searching for something you are not getting. You won't get it from these guys anyways so stop searching!
You are not a bad parent, you are allowed to go and have fun, but stick to your gfs and male bff for a while. You can take my advice or you can leave it. What you are doing isn't working though so it wouldn't hurt to try something else.
Hopefully you will come back and post sooner than later. I have a real blog too so i know how sometimes it can be frustrating and you feel you have nothing to post for. Keep it real though!
Omg..... this is why I write!!! You are absolutely right... im seeking somthing but in the process im making the same mistakes. So in other words im headed nowhere fast! I needed to hear this and ill post tomorrow. Thanks so much!!
ReplyDelete