I have not spoken to him AT ALL, in any kind of way, which I’m
proud of but……………. I miss him. This is normal I guess, but we were friends. I
just want to check on things I guess. However, I know it would not be the
smartest thing to do………… right?
I will hold off, for now anyway.
My life is boring, that is why I haven’t posted much. I have
been traveling with Baby Boy a lot, visiting old friends and things like that.
I started working out, and then stopped, now I’m starting again. I’m currently
at 133, I want to drop at least 10 lbs. That is where I was most comfortable. Nevertheless,
losing weight is HARD. Kudos to people that have and are doing it, consistency
is key I am sure, and I lack that in every aspect of life.
Deacon is around. I think we are working on things. I told
him the main reason I really was not interested in pursuing him was he was too
rude and wanted me to do everything his way and I just refused to be
controlled.
“Jaycee, I realized that, I know I had my faults and I
promised you I have worked on that, things would be different for sure, just
try!” he pleaded. I still wasn’t convinced and told him so.
“We can do it your way and go slow-“he started.
I cut him off “EXTREMELY slow”.
“Right, that’s fine baby, I’m not worried you are going to
see those 2 months showed me I do want you and Baby Boy back as my family, y’all
are all I really have here and I missed that and I want it to work out” Deacon
sighed.
If he was trying to make me feel bad for him, it wasn’t
working, but I said okay just to get the conversation over with. I wasn’t
agreeing to anything anyway right now so all was well. He works 8 hours a day
then has school 8 hours a day, so I hardly ever see him, and that’s actually
been cool. We talk daily but that is it, and maybe hang out on weekends if I’m
in town (I haven’t been). But it’s working. I don’t want or need to be tied
down though. His first test definitely was me skipping town, because before he
would have said “You don’t need to be ripping and running and blah blah blah”
but he’s been cool with everything. So he’s ok for now!
Derik and me are, what’s the word I’m looking for, regular? That’s
not it but whatever. I mean I went to his city last weekend actually, to see my
friends from college. I took Baby Boy with me and they all have kids too. He
works weekends so I knew I wouldn’t see him much, but I didn’t see him AT ALL.
We spoke while I was there, but our paths never crossed. What I will give him
is he still gives me butterflies, I love him! I don’t know if it will ever get
pass where we are at tho, he just might be the one that got away, and stays
away. Timing is everything and ours has always been off. If we were in the same
state, I would most definitely try us out. But we aren’t so whats a girl to do?
Not long distance that’s for effin sure.
Any who, Dante, think back. He’s the one that lived out of
town, but came back for business sometimes. Some family business crap. He hasn’t
been here in a while and when he does I duck him, I just don’t see the point of
hanging out with him. But dumb me, started feeling like I was being too rude in
January so I did start answering his text, and I sent him pics from my trip to
Mexico, because quite frankly I thought I looked darn good! We were getting
along good via text, and talking about hanging out, and then he effed up.
I was on a treadmill at the gym attempting to run 3 miles.
This gym had a theater so I had slowed it down to jogging and was trying to
catch up on the movie instead. Then my phone started going off effing up my
whole rhythm. I snatched it up and opened up a text from Tish. It was a picture
of a newborn baby from Facebook, why the eff did she send it to me? I scrolled
down and saw why, the darn caption read: Congrats
to my brother Dante on his new son and my nephew!
New son? I had been talking to him since the summer
(remember we watched the sunrise on my birthday) and his azz didn’t mention any
babies being in route. You can’t just leave that out, what kind of man wouldn’t
mention that. We were not together at any point, so I was completely lost. I
skipped texting Tish back and went straight to the source.
Me: Congrats!
Dante: Thanks a lot. I’m sorry Jaycee, I meant to tell you.
You know I love kids lol
What the eff was so funny? What are you sorry for? How do
you forget a whole human? I don’t know you love kids, I hardly know you is what
I’m finding out. But I didn’t reply back saying any of that of course J
Me: True
Dante: True.. hope you have a great day today! Tell Baby Boy
I said wassup.
I most certainly would not, he does not freaking know him
and do you see how casual he tried to be. He’s called a few times since then
but I don’t know what for. He successfully threw himself into the 2015 ignore
bucket. Good riddance Dante!
Finally yet importantly, Wells Fargo, he tries so hard. I
got my wisdom teeth pulled, all 4 OUCH! My mom kept my son that night for me so
I could drug up on Vicodin and pass out. But the pain hadn’t surfaced so I
decided not to take them. I was pigging out on Applesauce all day and that got
old quick. I decided I wanted ice cream and I wanted it NOW. Derik would get it
but he was too far, so my next best thing was Deacon.
“I’m stuck in traffic Jaycee, I can bring it to you later on
though but I need to go home and do some things first” he compromised.
Only I didn’t feel like that was a compromise. He was
already supposed to come over and help so why the eff would you go home first
anyway? Go get the ice cream FIRST and then go handle your business, I’m
suffering here sheesh! Okay I wasn’t suffering but I didn’t let him know that.
I told him I would get it myself and he didn’t stop me, he just said if I
decided to wait for him let him know. I told him don’t come at all.
Wells Fargo texted in the middle of my rant and he was in the
ER. He had dropped glass on his foot at work. I was complaining about my ice
cream dilemma still but I still asked was he okay. I wasn’t THAT rude.
About an hour later, Wells Fargo called.
“Come open your door” he said.
He had doubled parked, but limped up carrying 2 pints of Ben
and Jerry’s ice cream. HOW NICE IS HE!? He didn’t even try to come in just gave
me the goods and said he had to get home. Its true ladies. You always ignore
the nice ones. Like the movie says tho “I’m just not that into him”