Wacky Weekend

This weekend flew by but it was super long if that makes any sense..... but do I ever do? Friday after work I actually didn't want to go hang out at any happy hours. I went and got Kendall and her newborn, and Baby Boy of course and we had dinner at the mall, did a little shopping, and took Baby Boy to the playground after. Needless to say he was knocked out cold before we made it back home. Love nights like those!


I woke up Saturday to him poking me in my eyes. "Good morning Mommy, its time to get up!" I groaned but rose up to get breakfast ready and start getting us dressed. We were going to my Godsons football game that morning. When we arrived it was 1,000 effing degrees. I'm not lying. I planned on staying for an hour and slipping out. We stayed for 5 hours -_-. Baby Boy was having a ball and they had games for the kids so it ended up being a lengthy day.


We left around 3 and I went to get my mom and decided to go to the amusement park. We were season pass holders so any free time I got I used it. We stayed there until about 10p.m and she said she would keep him for the night. She wasn't doing me any favors, he was knocked out cold again he could've went home lol.


Of course my text line had been jumping all weekend. I no longer trusted my perfect Derek. He had a daughter the same age as my son. A few weeks ago he had told me that  he got a new phone and if his daughters mother inboxed me to just ignore it. Wait what? He didn't explain any further and I refused to talk to him until he did, and he finally caved in.


"Jaycee its not much to tell. I was picking my daughter up and she had my phone, somehow she opened my Facebook an her mom saw our messages and we got into a argument over it" he said calmly as if we were talking about the weather.


"Look cut the crap, that makes no sense, why would you get a new phone over that, and why would you all argue over that if you aren't together?"


"I had already been thinking about a new phone Jace, and I don't know why she argued, its stupid really" he was still calm.


I wanted to say "No you are stupid if you think I am buying that BS, but I got calm too and said "Ok!". I didn't have the energy to be bothered. He was 400 miles away, why even get all hype about it. He was up to no good and I was onto him. Sucks because he's really a nice guy, this is the first time I have had any sort of drama with him, even though it never was any yet technically.


Fast forward to this weekend and he's back to using his old phone like normal. So Saturday night 'm in the store at midnight looking for birthday gifts for a kids party Baby Boy was going to the next day and me and Derek are talking. He's headed home from work and when he gets there he hits me with "Let me get inside and settled and Ill call you in about 5 minutes"


I sighed "Don't bother, your 5 minutes is 55 minutes, Ill be sleep by then!"


"No seriously, 5 minutes" he bargained. I said ok, but my gut knew he wasn't calling back.


 Why? Because he got off the phone because he was with the girl or at her house, or something! I don't know which but it made sense. And he never called back! So I no longer trust him. He got caught slipping. He texted me yesterday talking about he had a bad day and wanted to talk to me to feel better. My response "Perfect, I'm still waiting for you to call back from last night!"


Don't try me!


I missed 1st service at church Sunday so I ran into Deacon at 2nd service. He wanted to go out to eat after and he wanted to take my mom so I said ok I would go. Then he decided just me and him should go. Not happening. I told him my mom cooked dinner and he came over after church. I had left early and he wasted no time trying to figure out where I went.
"I am your man Jaycee, I need to know these things" he sat beside me.
"You are most definitely not, either move over or just move period you are way too close, its hot, get off me!" I complained. My mom laughed and we spent the afternoon bantering back and forth. he was joking I was serious. I was not checking for him. Me and Kendall left a little after everyone had ate and ran some errands and went to the Birthday party for the afternoon.


Cam made me cry that night. I was exhausted after the party and he was coming over to cut Baby Boys hair. Baby Boy had fell asleep in the car an Cam pulled up as we got home and took him out for me. I asked him could he give him a bath because he was filthy from playing outside at the party.


"You give him one, and since hes sleep Ill cut his hair later this week" he said leaving.


"I give him one every night, can you do one thing since you are here dag!"


"Jaycee I saw all three of my kids mothers this weekend, yall are stressing me out, yall all want something all the time" he argued.


"That's my concern because? You should be more careful with your sperm" I spat out, "Look just give him a bath for me, that's the least you could do.


"No, bye and goodnight!" Cam headed out. I began to cry, I don't know why I think I was just frustrated. He noticed and I pushed him out and locked the door and grabbed my baby an started undressing him. About 2 minutes later, the doorbell rang. Of course his dumb self was back. He took his son from me and I heard him upstairs bathing him, then putting him in his bed. He came down and said Goodnight an left. Bastard. He started texting me, which annoyed me.


I never want you to hurt.


Sorry I made you cry.


I want to be with you and help you more but you have your guard up


I love you Jaycee lets work it out.


I threw the phone. Just be a father sheesh. I got myself ready for bed and I heard another text. This time it was Deacon.


Deacon: Im coming over.


I couldn't deal with any more men today. I turned over and went to bed. Wacky weekends right?! Other then those lames tho the weekend was perfect!

I'm not a Blogger!

It would be an insult to call myself a blogger because quite frankly I suck at it. Any little break throws me off. But someone posted and asked where I was so if even ONE person asks I come running!


I had to real my last post which was 4 months ago SHEESH! Soooooo much has changed. I was chasing Deacon in April now that tail is chasing me. I decided back in June I was done with him. I had a HUGE 30th birthday party, and the whole weekend was jam packed. All my friends came to town and Friday they threw me a House Party. I can admit I told Deacon last minute, it just wasn't his crowd. He was mad about that and didn't show and I'm not mad. I got super wasted and was passed out before midnight. The next day I spent it with a devilish hangover and finally got myself together mid afternoon. I got super dolled up because my "boo" was coming. "Ray" remember him? Of course you don't. The one I had met and we were perfect then he disappeared. Well he ended up coming back around an celebrating with me. The party was a freaking blast and I stayed sober. The sight of alcohol made me want to vomit for the rest of the summer.
Anywho Ray kicked it with me the rest of the weekend, and even after everyone left. We stayed up until 4 a.m. cleaning up from my house party. My last friend was leaving that Monday morning at 5 so we pulled an all nighter and took her to the airport then came back to my place and passed out. Ray did good for a few weeks but he is gone now. I don't know his deal but I give up trying. We were ok, then his job was sending him out for a few weeks, so you would think he would want to hang whenever we could/ I myself had trips lined up every weekend it seemed. I was going to DR for a week, then up North for 2 weeks, but he acted like it was no big deal. Long story short Ray left, I didn't see him. I've spoken to him once and he acted like nothing had changed, I cant live that life! lol


In the midst of this Deacon is steady trying to convince me he needs another chance, he didn't even get me a bday gift. He said he took it back, petty or what? Why even tell me that. I keep telling him we are better as friends, because I'm just not that into him anymore. I don't hang out with him or anything, I just respond to texts basically, and I've seen him at church twice this summer. He's not reeling me back in this time, I know its no point. He's too old for me and stuck in his way.


Derek is around, still lives 400 miles away but he's around. He bought me and Baby Boy bikes for my bday! If we lived in the same city I'd cuff him, he calls himself my boyfriend, but long distance is a joke (no offense) but for me it doesn't work.


I'm still at my same job no change. Its August apparently and I'm single and I'm fine with it. I'm not LOOKING for anyone, but soon as you stop looking they all start trying, so that's where I am. Even Dante Facebooked me this a.m. saying he missed me. I'm like you hid a whole baby for 9 months, kick rocks.


Eden and me communicate, but I don't love him in THAT way. I'm really good with friendship from him. He had his baby, she's ok. He's still miserable but that's not my problem. Enjoy that Eden.


Just trying to wrap it all up or catch up on everyone. My friends have been around all summer. They came down for Baby Boys birthday party, and we hit all the amusement parks. We got a timeshare last month and hung out with the kids for the weekend. Life is........ simple. And then there's Cam. Still a pain in my azz, still not doing his part, and still trying to get back together. He's not worth typing about. I don't know if I should just start back, or if its anyone I left out, or what so I'll play it by ear.

Status Checks

Deacon’s car was not there. Bittersweet. I was in that 50/50 place where I wanted to see him, but just to make sure he was okay then I could be angry again. Didn’t take long either. I stayed in bed all day after church. I started my “30 day diet” and I do not know if that had me in a rut or the lack of sleep. However, sleep was the cure so I stuck with that all day.

My phone woke me up and it was Derek. That made me smile.

“You stood me up!” I yawned into the phone.

“No you fell asleep, I called you and texted you, I couldn’t come with no address babe” he told me, which was true. We yapped about sweet nothings for about an hour before I told him I was going back to bed. Cam told me he was not bringing Baby Boy back until the morning and would just take him straight to school. I had taken off the next day so that was perfect I could sleep in. I slept clean till Monday afternoon. I decided I should probably wash and attempt to brush my teeth, if I had any kind of decency left in me.

I fixed my Vanilla protein shake after that and groaned as I gulped it down. It wasn’t all that good, kind of gritty but not terrible. I make some meal preps for work for the week and cut on “On Demand” to watch a movie. I decided on “21 Jump Street” which starred Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. It made me laugh a few times and by the time it finished it was time for me to get Baby Boy. My mom hadn’t seen him in a week so she had asked to keep him when he got back in town, I packed him a overnight bag, picked him up, and headed to her house. I hung out there for a few catching up, and that’s when she bought up Deacon.

“Deacon texted me and asked how I was” she said not knowing of our current state.

I was semi pissed, glad he had texted her because now I knew he was capable of communicating, but now officially pissed that he was blatantly ignoring me.

“That’s cool we aren’t speaking” I told her and changed the subject.

After making sure Baby Boy was squared away I then raced home so I could catch “Love and Hip Hop ATL” premiere. Yes, I am a sucker for reality TV. I couldn’t even focus on it though because I had so many thought rambling in my head.

Deacon had some nerve, he did that on purpose, check on your own mom not mines. I took my mind off it when a text came thru from my HR connect at a job I had applied for. This was far more important anyway.

HR: They sent a recommendation to your manager check on that ASAP.

WTF! She probably wouldn’t recommend me, I didn’t know they were even involved. That ended and ruined the night for me, and Tuesday morning after that awful protein shake I hurried in and sent an email to my manager asking if she had gotten a recommendation request for me.

After making me wait half the day, she told me she had received it and returned it last week. That wasn’t telling me jack diddly squat. I was irritated by now. I sent her another email asking if she recommended me or not (after I found out I had the right to know, at first I was scared she might say “None of your business”). No response again. Finally near the end of the day I opened up an instant message from her.

Manager: Jaycee, I received your request, we should talk in person about the recommendation request and my response.

OMG! That couldn’t be good…………………… could it? L

Stalker-ish?

I skipped out of work on Friday. My friends and I were having a sleepover for all of our kids. It sounded fun at first but when I got to the house we had rented, and took in all the kids and their friends, I knew it would be a long night. The house had an indoor pool and that was first up. I designated to handle that. Bad idea (I can’t swim) so that tells you the genius’s I was with! Just kidding. We had a lifeguard on deck as well. We did the pool thing for about an hour, then snacks and games, and then the gym. I tapped out somewhere in between then, I posted some pics on social media and noticed it was 3 a.m. and they ALL were wide-awake. Even my kid. I woke back up and it was 5 a.m., Cam had showed up to pick up Baby Boy because I had to be at work by 7 a.m. for OT. I got him together then helped the rest of the kids get their things together and was on my way.

The only way to describe my weekend from there is PURE DEATH!! I only did 2 hours at work, then went home to shower (fell asleep standing up) and meet Kendall at Picture People for her bi-weekly maternity pics. Yes, she takes them every time they have a deal -_-. We went to have lunch at Fridays after.

“What are you wearing to the party?” she asked.

I yawned “What party?”

“Jaycee, seriously, the surprise party tonight for Michelle’s 30^th” she rolled her eyes at me.

I frowned my face up and groaned, I was so tired “Actually I forgot all about it, I had all intentions of going home and calling it a night, but I HAVE to go, she always supports my events”.

Michelle was my middle/high school friend. We were not as close as we were when we were younger, but we showed up to each other things still. We wrapped up our meal and I promised Kendall I would meet her at her house to ride to the party together. It was already after four and we had to be there BY 6 p.m. I raced home and the outfit I picked out in my head looked God awful. I was currently weighing in at 134 and I Hated it. I was a 120 lbs. kind of girl. While I was shapelier and got compliments on my new weight, it also came with the stomach pudge and love handles. I tried on 3 more dressed and none covered up my “new body”.

“Eff this” I threw the dresses in a pile. Tomorrow I was going to start my 30 day Arbonne shake deal. It was a protein shake for breakfast, a balanced lunch, and then a veggie and fruit shake for dinner. I looked at my shape in my body length mirror and decided this time (the millionth) I WAS going to stick with it and hopefully drop 14 lbs.

I found some boot cut jeans and a flowy top. I dressed it up with heels, accessories, and one of my designer bags, and pulled my hair into a topknot bun. My flowy top showed side boobs, it was super cute, and it hid my belly (double win). I glanced at it again to make sure it was not too revealing and decided I was ok. I looked at the clock: 5:41 p.m. Whelp, no time to meet Kendall at her place. I told her I would meet her at the party instead and raced out the door. I beat her there and watched people parade in, I was glad I opted for a more casual look then my dresses. I would have been TOO dressed up.

We made it in by 6 and I was bored. The Birthday girl did not come until an hour and a half later and I did have a little fun dancing and posting group flicks and seeing some old friends. By 9p.m I was telling my goodbyes. Tish was there too and a few of my other close friends. I pulled Tish to the side.

“We need to do a drive by” I whispered.

“On whom?” she looked genuinely confused.

“Deacon, I haven’t spoken to him since Tuesday, I gave this big text speech on how his plate was full and there was no room for me, and he just never responded” I filled her in.

Taye sighed but nodded ok. We agreed she would meet me at my house when she left the party and 30 minutes later, I hear her outside blowing her horn. Rude wench it was 10 p.m. people were sleeping I’m sure!

“I’m sick of this negro!” Taye started “Why the fuck is he not answering the phone and shit? He is too old for this bullshit, and I don’t know why you even bother with his ass anymore.”

It was best for me to stay silent. I gave her directions as she ranted and finally we were at his house. I couldn’t tell if he was home and in bed or gone. He had a garage so his car could’ve been in there.

“Now what?” Taye asked.

“We can go” I said glumly, this had down nothing for my curiosity.

“The fuck we can, I’m going to knock on the door!” she threw the car in park.

I literally screamed guys “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Tish you CANT! OMG no, you know how crazy that will look?”

She laughed “Jaycee calm down, its not crazy, we will knock he’s going to answer, then you can ask why the hell he’s ignoring you after you see he’s ok, cause we both know he’s ok”

I knew nothing was wrong with his behind. Just like, he knew how I felt about being ignored. We finally drove off and I asked her to take me to Wal-Mart, so I could get the things I needed for my 30 day thingy. We were super cute in there at 11 p.m. with my cart and we both were on an “Eff guys” high. We checked out and sat in the car in front of my house for another hour just talking and venting.

“What ever happened to Derek?” Taye asked.

“Let’s call him, he’s still around!” I perked up. Derek was always a mood lifter.

I was so disoriented from my lack of sleep at this point that I was being super silly and Derek immediately thought I was drunk.

“Drive down here” I pleaded.

“That’s a 4 hour drive babe” he told me.

“So?” I slurred back.

“OK, let me go grab some things and I’ll hop on the road” I didn’t believe him but I accepted his answer, told Tish goodnight, and took my things inside. In less than 10 minutes I was snoring.

I woke up to my alarm the next morning; I wanted to go to early service at church to avoid seeing Deacon (the tables had turned that quick). *I went from semi stalking him to wanted to avoid him if possible.

 I checked my phone, Derek had called and texted last night. He was actually going to come! That was sweet, but honestly I needed that sleep. I decided I’d call him back after church and I hopped in the shower and raced to church. I pulled up in record time and…………………… my heart sank.

Feedback?! (New Post Below)

Is it better or boring with my diving more into my actual life and the day to day? Just trying to switch it up instead of focusing on all my random males I come across.

Either way let me know, wouldnt want to be wasting my time or yours if this isn't coming across the way I'm wanting it too!

P.S I accept good and bad criticism, I'm not pro by far I am learning as I go about this blogging business. Just working on my approach and cocnsistency right now.

xoxo Jaycee

Circus Clowns

“I just wanted to touch basis with you on the status of your interviews you had” my supervisor started.

It was none of her business; thank God, she had nothing to do with the hiring process of other locations. I cleared my throat and gave that shadiest answer I could “It’s ok”.

She wasn’t going to make this easy and kept tackling a way to get more info “Yes, you had quite a few interviews this past week, surely that’s a good sign?”

“I guess so” I shifted in my seat and looked her in her eyes letting her know this conversation was over before it even began.

“Ok well good luck, keep me posted, make sure you grab the mail and get that done this morning please and also I need some cases from you, they were someone else’s but they haven’t gotten to it so I’m hoping you can help them out” she smiled dismissing me.

Wench! “Sure can!” I smiled back. I was always ahead of my own workload so I really didn’t mind. What bothered me was her doing it to intentionally try to make me mind and get under my skin. I went back to my desk and knocked out the mail and extra work she had assigned me. Of course it wasn’t anything simple but it made my day fly by so whatever!

I checked Facebook when I got a break and noticed one of my friends mention going to the circus. It was a weekday and I wasn’t sure Baby Boy would stay up but I inquired nonetheless and we made plans to meet up and go together. Best decision ever! We went to a preshow where he got to see the animals up close and personal and he danced the whole show. He was so excited it warmed my heart. I had not been to the circus since I was a kid myself. Nevertheless, we all had a great time.

We got home super late and I got us ready for bed, but I still didn’t close my eyes til almost midnight. I uploaded some pics of us and sent some to Cam and my mom and dad before calling it a night.

No boy drama guys lol I told you it’s much more extreme reading it then it really is realistically.

The person I lost my virginity too, which happens to be my high school sweetheart has been in my inbox for a few weeks. I told you all my ex’s are having babies and he’s the first to pop one out. He’s been with a girl for a while and they recently broke up, I guess a few months ago. I don’t know, didn’t really ask details because quite frankly didn’t really care. We are still good friends though and every now and then he will call or text me to complain or ask for advice (as if I’m the best person to be giving out relationship advice!). Any who, I always gave unbiased advice (I didn’t want him)but they still ended up breaking up, too bad she was already knocked up.

Recently he began hinting he may want to try something put with me. I downplay it each and every time. I’m honestly not attracted to him anymore, and he doesn’t look the same. He was the star basketball player in high school and was around 6’6, super cute back then.  I didn’t do anything spectacular in high school, just a few randoms, but I was popular for some reason and that made us the ideal and “what’s in” couple. That lasted till I got to college. Eden was on my heels heavy but I was “in love”. I lost my virginity my first year of college, but we didn’t last too long after that and a year later I was with Eden.

I said all that to say that High School Boyfriend texted me last night while I was at the circus. I hadn’t heard from him in a while and thought he had gotten the point.

HSB: hey Jaycee, sorry I haven’t been in contact, I have been sick

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo?????? Was what I wanted to say, but I played nice.

Me: Awww sorry to hear that

HSB: I was like I’m slacking I haven’t talked to my future wife.

And it begins. I realize I’m too nice, but I definitely don’t lead people on, they just run with stuff.

Me: Well I’m at the circus, and it’s ok, I hadn’t noticed honestly.

I cut it short after that. Can’t entertain foolishness. If I actually liked him I wouldn’t mind, but like I said I wasn’t into him AND he had a newborn! A newborn he was dying for me to meet. When he had first told me that, I forgot about being nice and said “For what, I don’t need to meet him” not the nicest thing to say to someone who just had their 1^st child.

I tried to clean it up and say, “You know his mom probably wouldn’t like that, that’s all, I wouldn’t want to cause issues with you two”. He accepted that but he knew I meant it a little. But I DIDN’T want to meet the baby!

Luckily, he asked a few more questions about the circus and let me be for the night, but of course, he would be back! I loved our friendship and I told him that, but a relationship? You guys know I’m not ready or cut out for that at all these days.

I snapped back into my work. Hopefully the rest of my day would be okay or at least something interesting happen, like a job offer maybe! Wishful thinking! The first thing I would do is tell that supervisor of mines to kiss it………………. my buttocks that is! lol

My mornings go like this........ (2nd post today FYI)

My alarm betrayed me once again and I jumped up and grabbed my phone. Still no text from Deacon. I hated that I cared or looked forward to it at all.

I hit my alarm and went to my bathroom in my room to wash my face and brush my teeth and do the whole morning routine thing. I sat down to tinkle and checked my Instagram and Facebook. Totally addicted to those.

“OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG” I yelped out loud. Ray followed me (following is basically when someone wants to keep up with you on Instagram and keep up with what you post)! I sent a quick text to Tish. She had sent me a screenshot a week earlier that he was now on Instagram. I can’t really call him a fling because we never had sex, he gave me oral once but I didn’t reciprocate so Im not sure exactly what we were. I know I spoke on him before. We met hung out for 2 months, then he fell off the face of the Earth literally. I hear from him again around Kendall’s birthday. Okay, so Ray followed me.

Me: Should I follow him?

That’s the text I had sent Tish a week earlier after she sent me the screenshot.

Tish: Noooooo then you are going to look pressed, let him follow you first.

Me: That’s dumb, he won’t be able to find me Tish.

Tish: Do what you want then, you gonna follow him, he will foloow you, then hit you up, then disappear. Cycle continues.

Low blow! I didn’t follow him though and walah here he was. I clicked on his profile and saw he was on vacation. Still cute too. I didn’t even want him honestly, I just didn’t like the way we ended, with no closure or anything. We literally were talking every day until one day it was nothing.

I waited until later in the day to follow him back and saw he had liked some of my pics. I was glad to see he was going to see I still looked good too. Jerk! I’m bi-polar I know.

I got up and started my morning routine, getting myself completely together first then tackling my 2 year old. Every single morning he wants “cinnamon waffles” for breakfast even though they feed them breakfast at day care too. Therefore, I made them, got him some juice and headed out.

Work is not the highlight of my day for sure. I absolutely despise the place I’m at and it’s far from the place, it’s the people for sure. In addition, by people I mean management. I’m always one of the first to arrive and the last to leave, but that goes unnoticed. However, I won’t get into those pleasantries. I got to my desk, logged in, and hurriedly checked my email. The prior week I had 3 different interview. First, was Atlanta, GA, second was Miami, FL, and last was Baltimore, MD. They were clearly all phone interviews for the same company I’m with now but from jump I can tell you Miami is a no-go. For one the interviewees were RUDE. Afterwards I of course checked online (Craigslist) to get a realistic view of the city. Because housing sites ALWAYS only show the best pictures, but Craigslist is brutally honest. Miami looked like little Mexico. Mostly everything was run down. I was so shocked. I have been to South Beach plenty of times, and even though the hotels on South Beach are not anything to brag about, they were better then what I was seeing. I also checked the city crime rates. Sky high! Not to mention, I’m a mother of a black male, and while he’s young, we can’t forget all the racist ish Florida is known for lately. Just saying.

Atlanta was the complete opposite, for less then what I pay now I could be living in the lap of luxury or even purchase a mini mansion and get a mortgage. Much better. Schools suck in their city though.

Baltimore was in between, it was the lesser pay of them all, but still more then I make now. it’s also way closer to home then the 3. Not that I think I will get all three offers, but it would not be a bad problem to have.

I got focused and caught up on all my emails. I ran across one from Eden. He had emailed me because he thought I was ignoring him. I hadn’t been, I just was in no rush to hit him back. I was glad Eden was officially annoying to me again. I deleted his email, then went back and saved it, never know when I may need proof of anything when it came to him.

“Jaycee, can I see you in my office please” one of my supervisors stuck her head in and asked.

I nodded. This was already starting to be a GREAT morning *enter sarcastic smiley here*